Character: Dirk Strider | uber_marionettist Badge/Gym Leader: Elite Four Elite/Regular: .... Elite Four. Team:Coalossal, Smeargle, Rapidash, Banette, Cloyster, Beedrill. (All Pokemon will be level 100 by the time of his actual challenge.) Battle Details: Dirk's battle strategies are written under these principles, which means every fight is drawn out and dramatically orchestrated in ways that really are not necessary. The only Pokemon not interested in these tactics is his Cloyster, who is so full of fucking rage that she has no room left in her terrifying little black orb of a body for theatrical performances. On the other hand, watching physical attacks bounce near-harmlessly off her closed shell is its own kind of dramatic staging, so that's all right.
Will
Despite his feelings about Water types, Dirk can't deny it's thematically appropriate.
So: Cloyster. Iron Defence. Spikes... twice. Toxic Spikes... at least once, hopefully twice. Swap out. Both because he wants to heal up and because.... well.
Here's the thing.
Bronzong has one of two Abilities. Either it has Levitate or it has Heatproof. Acorn the Rapidash leads with Fire Spin to find out which. In either case, Bronzong is now trapped by Fire Spin, unable to escape the coming Flamethrowers or Drill Runs. As usual, Acorn is equipped with a Chesto Berry, fitting the relatively fragile (albeit Steel resistant) Fire-type with a one-time opportunity to fully heal himself in a single turn. (After that, Dirk has to waste an extra turn using that Flute he got from the Aether HQ.) Alternatively, it means Bronzong wastes a Hypnosis, giving Acorn a chance to refresh his Fire Spin or use Sunny Day--the latter of which is his planned strategy if Bronzong tries to make it Rain. Because Bronzong is SIGNIFICANTLY slower than Rapidash, Acorn is guaranteed to go first next turn, meaning that unless Acorn is Asleep, the hoped-for Water type Weather Ball will instead be Fire.... activating Acorn's Flash Fire Ability.
If all goes well, Dirk will be facing Jynx with a powered-up Acorn ready to lay waste... or else discourage Will from using Jynx next at all. Dirk's prediction is that if Will doesn't use Jynx, he'll opt either for Slowbro (Water against Fire, you know) or for Xatu (immune to Spikes AND Toxic Spikes. You know, because it flies?)
Both of those are weak to Acorn's Wild Charge.
At this point, what Dirk uses depends ENTIRELY on whether or not Xatu has been dealt with. If so, Dirk waits until he's taken a chunk out of whoever's next and swaps out to...
... Beedrill?
Yes. Mega Beedrill.
Mega Beedrill's blisteringly fast speeds and 2x STAB (instead of 1.5x!) thanks to Adaptability means using the supereffective Fell Stinger will take a weakened opponent out. And when that happens, Beedrill's attack raises twice. Just like a Sword's Dance. And at this point, everything being sent out is presumably still landing on those Spikes and Toxic Spikes.
The downside, of course, is that Mega Beedrill is weak to Psychic.
Which means that if whatever comes out next is at full health, Dirk is going to have his Beedrill use all that buffed up nonsense to Pin Missile anything that's really hurting, or else U-Turn the fuck out. U Turn is actually a bit stronger than Fell Stinger, so even if it doesn't totally KO the opponent? That will hurt.
But it probably will.
You know what also hurts?
Medea the Cloyster. He bought a Pin Missile TM to go with Rock Blast and Icicle Spear, and his favourite strategy is still on the table because of course he taught his Cloyster Self Destruct.
Medea is also what happens instead of Beedrill if Will's Xatu is still up (assuming Gardevoir isn't on the field at the time. If Gardevoir is on the field at the time, then Dirk is using Acorn for Fire Spin + Poison Jab, or Beedrill for Adaptability boosted Poison Jab + Fell Stinger. Contingencies within Contingencies...)
This battle's strategy doesn't much account for the opponents' attacks after Bronzong, because it's all about evoiding blatant weaknesses and moving fast enough, with enough damage to take out the opponent in as few hits as possible. Worst case scenario, he has his beloved art buddy Peaches to hop out, use Wish, and then Baton Pass that heal to another Pokemon (like Beedrill).... or Plush Rump, who is a fucking Ghost type and you would THINK could be Dirk's main offence here, but it's more fun to save some tricks for later, and Dirk would rather have something guaranteed to be effective in case of emergencies than need something super effective in a pinch and... not have that. So.
Koga
Hey, Skuntank! Dirk knows a lot about Skuntank. Steve's got one.
Set-up goes a little faster this time, because he's leading with Coalossal. Just one round of Stealth Rock, and then he sends out Acorn. His reason here is really simple.
Acorn is one of the only two Pokemon on his ding dang team with a Ground type move. Also like before, he leads with a Fire Spin to keep Skuntank from being switched out. Unlike before, he takes the time to try for Hypnosis before going ape with Drill Run. Dirk expects Acorn to get Poisoned during this. He's got a brand new Chesto Berry, and even after it's used, Acorn still has Rest. Any time Acorn is low on health--or badly poisoned instead of just poisoned? Rest. Dirk doesn't expect Acorn to stay in the fight past Skuntank, though. Between the potential for the Ability Aftermath and the fact that Skuntank can choose between Memento and Explosion?
Honestly, he just wanted to get the Psychic immune firebreathing skunk out of the damn way. If he HAS to, he will use Peaches' Wish + Baton Pass here. If he REALLY has to, he'll use Peaches' Transform and Explosion to finish Skuntank off. But... it probably won't come to that. Because fucking Yikes.
Anyway.
For Venomoth, Dirk sends Empedocles back out, because she's resistant to most of what Venomoth has to threaten her with and Heat Crash does the maximum amount of supereffective STAB damage possible. She also won't be needed for anything after Venomoth, so any status inflicted is fine. If Paralysis proves annoying, Dirk has Full Heals, but even if Heat Crash is Disabled, she has Burn up and Rock Blast/Rock Slide, so there's really no way to go wrong. Or, if there's too much status flying around (confusion, flinching, etc) he'll focus on getting off a successful Self Destruct. Venomoth being weak to Stealth Rock to begin with, the advantage was already to Empedocles... status be damned.
His plan for Toxicroak is swift and dirty--or, well, at least it's swift, because it's Mersenne's turn. Toxicroak can't poison a Mega Beedrill and it can't hit him for very much damage either because neither Dark nor Poison nor Fighting really hurt much. And Drill Run will hurt a LOT. But with Toxicroak's limited options, there's room to use the less effective Fell Stinger for a final blow, giving Mersenne that sweet, sweet 3x Attack boost.
Meaning there's no reason not to leave Beedrill out for Swalot. The thing about Swalot is that it has a lot of painful tricks--like Wring Out, which does more damage the more health Beedrill has. And Curse, and Stockpile, which REALLY boost its defences. (And Swallow can be used to self heal!) And Yawn, which... puts Beedrill to sleep in a move or two.
But he's counting on the fact that Swalot is starting out with a bit of its health chipped out by Stealth Rock, and Beedrill is so much faster and so powered up at this point that if Koga spends any turns on setup at all, Beedrill will quickly destroy it, and then U-Turn out... because Mega Beedrill is even faster than Crobat. Really.
That U-Turn is to Medea the Cloyster, who is leading with Iron Defence, then going straight to Shell Smash. See, the nice thing about Crobat is that it's weak to Stealth Rock, and it's also weak to Icicle Spear. The problem with Crobat, however, isn't its speed, or the ability to cause flinching. It can also cause Confusion, of course, and has Mean Look, but those aren't the real problem either. The real problem is Haze. If Koga insists on using that especially often, Dirk will just have Cloyster use Whirlpool, then Icicle Spear freely without any Shell Smashing or whatever. There may or may not be some stupid prediction mind-games at the end with Crobat's Quick Guard vs Cloyster's Ice Shard. But as with Protect and Endure, the odds of success with Quick Guard drop by 50% with each consecutive use. So either Cloyster will get the hit in... or its health will be super low and it'll Self Destruct, taking Crobat with it.
By the time he's facing Koga's Muk, Dirk's team is in a bit of a shambles, but that's all right. He planned for this. Besides, the Banette that's been hanging off his neck this whole time, while giggly and energetic, hasn't even yet stepped into the ring.
Without anything on Koga's side capable of Defog or Rapid Spin, Muk is subject to the same 12.5% health loss from Stealth Rock as everything else. Which is important: Muk's greatest assets are its Attack and its genuinely imposing quantities of health.
Plush Rump leads with Knock Off, due entirely Dirk's wariness of items like Black Sludge that Muk can used to self-heal. Then it's Will-o-Wisp (racking up turn-based damage and dropping Muk's Attack) and a mix of moves like Psychic, Night Shade, and Feint attack. Only one of those is supereffective, but one of them disregards stat boosts to do a set amount of damage, and the last can't miss, even with all the Minimising in the world.
This is the closest Dirk will let things come to really looking like a potential loss, and he'll still be keeping a close eye on things, but he still has Peaches, who should still have Wish and Baton Pass, as well as a variety of options like Water Pulse (which can Confuse) and Flamethrower (which can Burn.) With Wish to self heal and Baton Pass to give that heal to Mega Beedrill (and Mega Beedrill's immunity to being poisoned and combination of Focus Energy+Drill Run), that should be plenty.
Bruno
Dirk respects Bruno, but he is negative levels of afraid of the guy. Sure, Cloyster's weak to Fighting, but its Defence is astronomical. Plus, Iron Defence is actually pretty effective against all those Physical Attacks, meaning it's pretty feasible to use that a couple of times, then set up Spikes three times. At that point, maybe it's time for a Shell Smash and round of five painful Icicle Spears. Or maybe it's time to Self Destruct. Either is fine, really. Because Plush Rump exists and can't be hit by Fighting moves, and literally five out of Bruno's four Pokemon are weak to Psychic.
See, moves like Hitmonchan's Fake Out can't hit Plush Rump either. And the only move that Hitmonless has that can hit a Banette is Blaze Kick. So Plush Rump will lead with Will-o-Wisp, and with a little predicting, Dirk can swap Empedocles in on Blaze Kick and activate her Ability, Steam Powered.
Empedocles is now as fast as a colossal coal kaiju can be, and combined with the damage from Spikes, the painful Burn left by Plush Rump, and any Psychic-inflicted damage Plush Rump did... odds are that a single Heat Crash is all it will take to remove Hitmonlee, and set up Hitmonchan to get a similar treatment. Sure, Fake Out works. Once. And Hitmonchan has some priority moves like Vacuum Wave and Bullet Punch, and ways to prevent damage like Detect. But Empedocles is leading with Tar Shot, making that Heat Crash super effective now, and... well.... you know. Self Destruct?
By the time Hariyama is out, Dirk is down two Pokemon, though Plush Rump has potentially taken zero damage.
But Hariyama has Whirlwind, so...
.... it's a good thing Dirk has zero remaining Pokemon who can be totally obliterated by it? Except Peaches, who can just.... Transform into it and Whirlwind it right back out. Basically, what happens now is up to Bruno. If Bruno lets him, Dirk will just use Plush Rump to do Psychic Damage. If Acorn is forced out, it's time to Bounce. If Peaches is pulled out of her ball, it's time to be the Hariyama and Whirlwind it right back, ensuring that it takes another round of Spikes if it wants to show its face again. And Beedrill will U-turn right back to Plush Rump.
That said, Plush Rump may not survive Hariyama. Heavy Slam hurts when you're a lightweight ghost. And Brine is... well, that also hurts. But one way or another, Dirk has Options here.
Machamp will be facing none other than Acorn, who will be mixing Bounce with Double Team in order to maximise field longevity. This is because Acorn is also in charge of taking down Lucario, leading (of course) with a supereffective Fire Spin and utilising that essential Chesto+Rest combo in order to heal when things look grim. Otherwise, the plan is Flare Blitz and Flame Wheel. If Peaches must be utilised, it will be an immediate transformation into Lucario, followed by Me First. Bruno has to know what's supereffective against his own Pokemon, and while Peaches isn't as strong as a natural Lucario, Me First increases the power of its copied move by 50%, more than making up for the difference.
If Peaches is really lucky, that move will be Close Combat or Aura Sphere. If not, it'll be something like Counter or Swords Dance. In that case, Dirk will use a Revive on Acorn. Again, he's come too far to lose to his own stubbornness here.
(He also still has Mersenne the Beedrill, if he wants to rely on Drill Run again or needs a sacrifice to be able to get Acorn out onto the field in fighting form. But that's not nearly as quality a script.)
no subject
Badge/Gym Leader: Elite Four
Elite/Regular: .... Elite Four.
Team: Coalossal, Smeargle, Rapidash, Banette, Cloyster, Beedrill. (All Pokemon will be level 100 by the time of his actual challenge.)
Battle Details: Dirk's battle strategies are written under these principles, which means every fight is drawn out and dramatically orchestrated in ways that really are not necessary. The only Pokemon not interested in these tactics is his Cloyster, who is so full of fucking rage that she has no room left in her terrifying little black orb of a body for theatrical performances. On the other hand, watching physical attacks bounce near-harmlessly off her closed shell is its own kind of dramatic staging, so that's all right.
Will
Despite his feelings about Water types, Dirk can't deny it's thematically appropriate.
So: Cloyster. Iron Defence. Spikes... twice. Toxic Spikes... at least once, hopefully twice. Swap out. Both because he wants to heal up and because.... well.
Here's the thing.
Bronzong has one of two Abilities. Either it has Levitate or it has Heatproof. Acorn the Rapidash leads with Fire Spin to find out which. In either case, Bronzong is now trapped by Fire Spin, unable to escape the coming Flamethrowers or Drill Runs. As usual, Acorn is equipped with a Chesto Berry, fitting the relatively fragile (albeit Steel resistant) Fire-type with a one-time opportunity to fully heal himself in a single turn. (After that, Dirk has to waste an extra turn using that Flute he got from the Aether HQ.) Alternatively, it means Bronzong wastes a Hypnosis, giving Acorn a chance to refresh his Fire Spin or use Sunny Day--the latter of which is his planned strategy if Bronzong tries to make it Rain. Because Bronzong is SIGNIFICANTLY slower than Rapidash, Acorn is guaranteed to go first next turn, meaning that unless Acorn is Asleep, the hoped-for Water type Weather Ball will instead be Fire.... activating Acorn's Flash Fire Ability.
If all goes well, Dirk will be facing Jynx with a powered-up Acorn ready to lay waste... or else discourage Will from using Jynx next at all. Dirk's prediction is that if Will doesn't use Jynx, he'll opt either for Slowbro (Water against Fire, you know) or for Xatu (immune to Spikes AND Toxic Spikes. You know, because it flies?)
Both of those are weak to Acorn's Wild Charge.
At this point, what Dirk uses depends ENTIRELY on whether or not Xatu has been dealt with. If so, Dirk waits until he's taken a chunk out of whoever's next and swaps out to...
... Beedrill?
Yes. Mega Beedrill.
Mega Beedrill's blisteringly fast speeds and 2x STAB (instead of 1.5x!) thanks to Adaptability means using the supereffective Fell Stinger will take a weakened opponent out. And when that happens, Beedrill's attack raises twice. Just like a Sword's Dance. And at this point, everything being sent out is presumably still landing on those Spikes and Toxic Spikes.
The downside, of course, is that Mega Beedrill is weak to Psychic.
Which means that if whatever comes out next is at full health, Dirk is going to have his Beedrill use all that buffed up nonsense to Pin Missile anything that's really hurting, or else U-Turn the fuck out. U Turn is actually a bit stronger than Fell Stinger, so even if it doesn't totally KO the opponent? That will hurt.
But it probably will.
You know what also hurts?
Medea the Cloyster. He bought a Pin Missile TM to go with Rock Blast and Icicle Spear, and his favourite strategy is still on the table because of course he taught his Cloyster Self Destruct.
Medea is also what happens instead of Beedrill if Will's Xatu is still up (assuming Gardevoir isn't on the field at the time. If Gardevoir is on the field at the time, then Dirk is using Acorn for Fire Spin + Poison Jab, or Beedrill for Adaptability boosted Poison Jab + Fell Stinger. Contingencies within Contingencies...)
This battle's strategy doesn't much account for the opponents' attacks after Bronzong, because it's all about evoiding blatant weaknesses and moving fast enough, with enough damage to take out the opponent in as few hits as possible. Worst case scenario, he has his beloved art buddy Peaches to hop out, use Wish, and then Baton Pass that heal to another Pokemon (like Beedrill).... or Plush Rump, who is a fucking Ghost type and you would THINK could be Dirk's main offence here, but it's more fun to save some tricks for later, and Dirk would rather have something guaranteed to be effective in case of emergencies than need something super effective in a pinch and... not have that. So.
Koga
Hey, Skuntank! Dirk knows a lot about Skuntank. Steve's got one.
Set-up goes a little faster this time, because he's leading with Coalossal. Just one round of Stealth Rock, and then he sends out Acorn. His reason here is really simple.
Acorn is one of the only two Pokemon on his ding dang team with a Ground type move. Also like before, he leads with a Fire Spin to keep Skuntank from being switched out. Unlike before, he takes the time to try for Hypnosis before going ape with Drill Run. Dirk expects Acorn to get Poisoned during this. He's got a brand new Chesto Berry, and even after it's used, Acorn still has Rest. Any time Acorn is low on health--or badly poisoned instead of just poisoned? Rest. Dirk doesn't expect Acorn to stay in the fight past Skuntank, though. Between the potential for the Ability Aftermath and the fact that Skuntank can choose between Memento and Explosion?
Honestly, he just wanted to get the Psychic immune firebreathing skunk out of the damn way. If he HAS to, he will use Peaches' Wish + Baton Pass here. If he REALLY has to, he'll use Peaches' Transform and Explosion to finish Skuntank off. But... it probably won't come to that. Because fucking Yikes.
Anyway.
For Venomoth, Dirk sends Empedocles back out, because she's resistant to most of what Venomoth has to threaten her with and Heat Crash does the maximum amount of supereffective STAB damage possible. She also won't be needed for anything after Venomoth, so any status inflicted is fine. If Paralysis proves annoying, Dirk has Full Heals, but even if Heat Crash is Disabled, she has Burn up and Rock Blast/Rock Slide, so there's really no way to go wrong. Or, if there's too much status flying around (confusion, flinching, etc) he'll focus on getting off a successful Self Destruct. Venomoth being weak to Stealth Rock to begin with, the advantage was already to Empedocles... status be damned.
His plan for Toxicroak is swift and dirty--or, well, at least it's swift, because it's Mersenne's turn. Toxicroak can't poison a Mega Beedrill and it can't hit him for very much damage either because neither Dark nor Poison nor Fighting really hurt much. And Drill Run will hurt a LOT. But with Toxicroak's limited options, there's room to use the less effective Fell Stinger for a final blow, giving Mersenne that sweet, sweet 3x Attack boost.
Meaning there's no reason not to leave Beedrill out for Swalot. The thing about Swalot is that it has a lot of painful tricks--like Wring Out, which does more damage the more health Beedrill has. And Curse, and Stockpile, which REALLY boost its defences. (And Swallow can be used to self heal!) And Yawn, which... puts Beedrill to sleep in a move or two.
But he's counting on the fact that Swalot is starting out with a bit of its health chipped out by Stealth Rock, and Beedrill is so much faster and so powered up at this point that if Koga spends any turns on setup at all, Beedrill will quickly destroy it, and then U-Turn out... because Mega Beedrill is even faster than Crobat. Really.
That U-Turn is to Medea the Cloyster, who is leading with Iron Defence, then going straight to Shell Smash. See, the nice thing about Crobat is that it's weak to Stealth Rock, and it's also weak to Icicle Spear. The problem with Crobat, however, isn't its speed, or the ability to cause flinching. It can also cause Confusion, of course, and has Mean Look, but those aren't the real problem either. The real problem is Haze. If Koga insists on using that especially often, Dirk will just have Cloyster use Whirlpool, then Icicle Spear freely without any Shell Smashing or whatever. There may or may not be some stupid prediction mind-games at the end with Crobat's Quick Guard vs Cloyster's Ice Shard. But as with Protect and Endure, the odds of success with Quick Guard drop by 50% with each consecutive use. So either Cloyster will get the hit in... or its health will be super low and it'll Self Destruct, taking Crobat with it.
By the time he's facing Koga's Muk, Dirk's team is in a bit of a shambles, but that's all right. He planned for this. Besides, the Banette that's been hanging off his neck this whole time, while giggly and energetic, hasn't even yet stepped into the ring.
Without anything on Koga's side capable of Defog or Rapid Spin, Muk is subject to the same 12.5% health loss from Stealth Rock as everything else. Which is important: Muk's greatest assets are its Attack and its genuinely imposing quantities of health.
Plush Rump leads with Knock Off, due entirely Dirk's wariness of items like Black Sludge that Muk can used to self-heal. Then it's Will-o-Wisp (racking up turn-based damage and dropping Muk's Attack) and a mix of moves like Psychic, Night Shade, and Feint attack. Only one of those is supereffective, but one of them disregards stat boosts to do a set amount of damage, and the last can't miss, even with all the Minimising in the world.
This is the closest Dirk will let things come to really looking like a potential loss, and he'll still be keeping a close eye on things, but he still has Peaches, who should still have Wish and Baton Pass, as well as a variety of options like Water Pulse (which can Confuse) and Flamethrower (which can Burn.) With Wish to self heal and Baton Pass to give that heal to Mega Beedrill (and Mega Beedrill's immunity to being poisoned and combination of Focus Energy+Drill Run), that should be plenty.
Bruno
Dirk respects Bruno, but he is negative levels of afraid of the guy. Sure, Cloyster's weak to Fighting, but its Defence is astronomical. Plus, Iron Defence is actually pretty effective against all those Physical Attacks, meaning it's pretty feasible to use that a couple of times, then set up Spikes three times. At that point, maybe it's time for a Shell Smash and round of five painful Icicle Spears. Or maybe it's time to Self Destruct. Either is fine, really. Because Plush Rump exists and can't be hit by Fighting moves, and literally five out of Bruno's four Pokemon are weak to Psychic.
See, moves like Hitmonchan's Fake Out can't hit Plush Rump either. And the only move that Hitmonless has that can hit a Banette is Blaze Kick. So Plush Rump will lead with Will-o-Wisp, and with a little predicting, Dirk can swap Empedocles in on Blaze Kick and activate her Ability, Steam Powered.
Empedocles is now as fast as a colossal coal kaiju can be, and combined with the damage from Spikes, the painful Burn left by Plush Rump, and any Psychic-inflicted damage Plush Rump did... odds are that a single Heat Crash is all it will take to remove Hitmonlee, and set up Hitmonchan to get a similar treatment. Sure, Fake Out works. Once. And Hitmonchan has some priority moves like Vacuum Wave and Bullet Punch, and ways to prevent damage like Detect. But Empedocles is leading with Tar Shot, making that Heat Crash super effective now, and... well.... you know. Self Destruct?
By the time Hariyama is out, Dirk is down two Pokemon, though Plush Rump has potentially taken zero damage.
But Hariyama has Whirlwind, so...
.... it's a good thing Dirk has zero remaining Pokemon who can be totally obliterated by it? Except Peaches, who can just.... Transform into it and Whirlwind it right back out. Basically, what happens now is up to Bruno. If Bruno lets him, Dirk will just use Plush Rump to do Psychic Damage. If Acorn is forced out, it's time to Bounce. If Peaches is pulled out of her ball, it's time to be the Hariyama and Whirlwind it right back, ensuring that it takes another round of Spikes if it wants to show its face again. And Beedrill will U-turn right back to Plush Rump.
That said, Plush Rump may not survive Hariyama. Heavy Slam hurts when you're a lightweight ghost. And Brine is... well, that also hurts. But one way or another, Dirk has Options here.
Machamp will be facing none other than Acorn, who will be mixing Bounce with Double Team in order to maximise field longevity. This is because Acorn is also in charge of taking down Lucario, leading (of course) with a supereffective Fire Spin and utilising that essential Chesto+Rest combo in order to heal when things look grim. Otherwise, the plan is Flare Blitz and Flame Wheel. If Peaches must be utilised, it will be an immediate transformation into Lucario, followed by Me First. Bruno has to know what's supereffective against his own Pokemon, and while Peaches isn't as strong as a natural Lucario, Me First increases the power of its copied move by 50%, more than making up for the difference.
If Peaches is really lucky, that move will be Close Combat or Aura Sphere. If not, it'll be something like Counter or Swords Dance. In that case, Dirk will use a Revive on Acorn. Again, he's come too far to lose to his own stubbornness here.
(He also still has Mersenne the Beedrill, if he wants to rely on Drill Run again or needs a sacrifice to be able to get Acorn out onto the field in fighting form. But that's not nearly as quality a script.)