CURRENT RANK: In order: Private, Alpha, Private, Private, Grunt, Grunt, Grunt, Grunt. I think.
REQUESTED REWARD: Dirk wants a promotion to Beta. Jack wants cash money. Carly, Tyler, Steven, and Lydia want money… and the higher ups to be paying attention to their good work. Carly also wants one of the Lapras. Steve wants money, and he wants to stop being a Grunt. Spinel wants a Shiny Pokemon, which is EXTREMELY valid.
JUSTIFY THE REWARD: At last, the Laprasbot is complete. (It's been complete, actually.) Dirk's stitches are out. Everyone is talking to each other again. Mostly. The heist is on.
They will be approaching the bay in which Armin's pod shelters under the cloak of night, which is easier said than done because Laprasbot fits seven fucking people in it. But by waiting for a foggy night and an hour by which all good humans have long been asleep, and with the Laprasbot at full speed, it will emerge larger-than-life just in time to block the seaward entrance to the bay. The side hatch of the shell will open. And the attack will commence.
First things first: Dirk and Steve P will Surf over to Armin's boat, where Steve will slip into Armin's bedroom, physically "subdue" him, tie him up, and lock him in his own bathroom. Dirk is backup/supervision. Then it's back to Laprasbot for the heist heist.
For reference: Laprasbot's eyes are cameras, the mouth contains two Pokemon, and it's insulated with glass and ceramic as well as rubber. You know, so the fragile humans and also fragile electrical systems don't fry in the ensuing battle.
Dirk:SIN (Greninja) is in Laprasbot's mouth, using Smokescreen to disorient the pod (and help obscure the bot to reduce the damage it takes.) SIN will also Role Play the Water Absorb ability to keep himself going, Rain Dance to counter any attempts at Hail, and emergency options should any Lapras get too close and still resist capture: Night Slash, Toxic, and Shadow Sneak. Pulse Train (the Klinklang) will be Dirk's "mount", using Magnet Rise to float while he effectively hoverboards the fully-Autotomised Pokemon over the water. It's not going to take him very far but it keeps him close enough to that level 100 Lapras of Armin's.
Peaches (that goddamn Smeargle) will be using Transform to become a Shiny copy of Carly's Gogoat Heidrun. With the Surf Ability, Peaches-as-Heidrun will be able to navigate the water of the bay to fight that level 100 Lapras and even take a position on shore, dealing damage and recovering health with moves like Leech Seed, Giga Drain and Horn Leach. She'll have Milk Drink in case of real health emergencies, and alternating that with Toxic and Protect, might even be able to stall a little... but time is of the essence here, so he'd really, really rather she not. If Peaches faints, Dirk will have PGenMon (Porygon2) for Magic Coat, or that timeless combo, Lock On + Zap Cannon.... plus Recover.... or just to Discharge electricity into the water and make catching the rest of the Lapras easier.
Jack: First of all, Dirk has no fucking clue how Jack's been here so long when his Pokemon are so useless. Fine. Whatever. Jack's real importance here is controlling the Laprasbot. He helped build it, he knows how to work it, he knows how (not) to break it. Sparky (Pachirisu) has Nuzzle, though, and is sprightly enough to jump from Lapras to Lapras using it. Electro Balls from such a speedy little fucker are going to be vital to picking off pod members, especially paralysed pod members who are now even slower... and therefore taking even more damage from it.
Carly:Kushi (Joltik) shares Vore Position Bot Space with SIN, from which position it will be launching Electro Webs and Electro Balls. With Connie absent, Dirk is asking Carly to keep him updated on things he can't see, which means staying in the Laprasbot and using its cameras to survey the bay-slash-battlefield and keep him updated.
Steve:Buttsnack (Swampert) is immune to all the electricity that’s going through the water, and has a powerful move in Rock Slide, which is not only capable of hitting multiple targets, but hems in the bay even more with heavy earth and stone… and which Lapras in general are weak to. However, Steve and Buttsnack are being held back from the fray until Armin’s level 100 Guard Lapras is either KO’d or captured, because Dirk doesn’t know what that Lapras is capable of, and his decision to have Peaches Transform into Heidrun comes with a weakness to Ice moves. If things go too far south in that regard, Dirk can and will “guide” Steve in battling with Buttsnack, whose Hammer Arm and Endeavour (plus natural bulk and comparative resistance to both Water and Ice moves) make him… a much better choice for that fight to begin with. Frankly. It’s too bad that it’s so hard to use Earthquakes on something that sits on top of the water…. then again, who knows what Rock Slide can do to that bay. (Maybe that’ll help poor Peaches a little too.) Buttsnack taking Dirk's orders over Steve's based on strategic merit is something they'll have to unpack later.
Every other person involved has two jobs: giving their Pokemon orders and catching Lapras.
Okay, actually Spinel has one job. But it's catching Pokemon.
And given the Pokemon in question here, many of which have the ability to use Shadow Sneak, once a little discord (and a little status) has been sown, the strategy will shift abruptly to Everyone Use Shadow Sneak. As quickly and as often as possible. It's going to look like a cartoon ninja attack. Or just the way Bro Strider fights, but times three. Zip-zip-zip. You know what I'm talking about.
Steven: Steven is wearing a gas mask, which is actually pretty smart considering his Pokemon and the whole... smokescreen thing. Also, he doesn't want to be identified by Armin! They're friends! Okay, whatever, says Dirk. Moving on. Surprisingly essential support, Skeleton's (Klefki) Metal Sound and Crafty Shield are going to put a real dent in the pods' defences... or that's the plan, because this Klefki isn't exactly packing much in the way of levels. Fairy Lock, though? You could say that's pretty key for Dirk's strategy to do as much damage as quickly as possible. Lapras that can't go anywhere are Lapras that aren't practising evasive manoeuvres. Once Skeleton faints, Miasmagoria (Gengar) has Levitate and can move freely in the pod. Dirk will want her spreading Confuse Ray and using Night Shade. No Hypnosis. Things are just too chaotic and he wants widespread paralysis for easier catches/more powerful Electro Balls. (Also, better odds. He doesn't like luck games.) Plus, the demoralising/terrifying effect of Night Shade will cause maximum chaos the fastest, ensuring the pod is broken up more quickly and the individual Lapras more easily subdued.
Tyler:Jester (Dusknoir) is much like Miasmagoria, in that it fucking floats, which is a big help. It also has Confuse Ray, and Night Shade. It also has Disable, which Dirk will want turned on as many Lapras as possible in as short as possible a time. If Jester faints, Dirk wants Tyler using Caltrops, and he wants Caltrops in the centre of the pod and using Explosion. Uh. Yeah. Yikes?
[Dirk Voice: Tyler, make your fucking bug explode.]
Lydia:Eclipse (Gengar) has the same job as Miasmagoria, for the exact same reasons. Edward (Zoroark... Dirk doesn't even ask why this thing is named Edward) is to follow up by using Night Daze and his illusion talents to do damage and continue the psychological warfare campaign against these poor Pokemon. And Pursuit is an excellent move to pick off Lapras that try to flee the bay, or just the fight.
Spinel: Spinel, like Tyler and Steven and Lydia, needs to be focused on looking for Lapras that look debilitated or ready to faint and catching them. That is her job. Dirk isn't really interested in trying to get someone so new involved in the battle situation, and having someone whose attention isn't split between her Pokemon and the Pokemon she's catching is actually a huge plus. Also she seems pretty energetic so maybe this'll be a thing she's into. He doesn't know.
This should be manageable, but Laprasbot COULD take a bit of a beating in the process. Something about electricity in the water, panicked and infuriated Lapras potentially ramming the bot, one Lapras in PARTICULAR potentially catching onto where the threat is coming from and trying to take the bot out... who knows what could happen! Dirk did his best to reinforce the thing, but what Dirk DOESN'T know, however, is what Carly didn't tell him: she and Steven hatched a plan behind Dirk's back, and Steven will be releasing one of the baby Lapras back into the water to hide, with the Pokeball he'd used to catch it now its held item. Just the kind of quick and dirty maneouvre Carly will be able see and Dirk won't. And inside that Pokeball is a note leading Armin to Olivine… and the rendezvous point where the Laprasbot crew are to hand over their catch. From there, it’s up to him.
The note DOES instruct him not to tell anyone, though.
Also to… uh, eat it. The note, I mean. The note says to eat the note.
aaaaAAAAA
They will be approaching the bay in which Armin's pod shelters under the cloak of night, which is easier said than done because Laprasbot fits seven fucking people in it. But by waiting for a foggy night and an hour by which all good humans have long been asleep, and with the Laprasbot at full speed, it will emerge larger-than-life just in time to block the seaward entrance to the bay. The side hatch of the shell will open. And the attack will commence.
First things first: Dirk and Steve P will Surf over to Armin's boat, where Steve will slip into Armin's bedroom, physically "subdue" him, tie him up, and lock him in his own bathroom. Dirk is backup/supervision. Then it's back to Laprasbot for the heist heist.
For reference: Laprasbot's eyes are cameras, the mouth contains two Pokemon, and it's insulated with glass and ceramic as well as rubber. You know, so the fragile humans and also fragile electrical systems don't fry in the ensuing battle.
Dirk: SIN (Greninja) is in Laprasbot's mouth, using Smokescreen to disorient the pod (and help obscure the bot to reduce the damage it takes.) SIN will also Role Play the Water Absorb ability to keep himself going, Rain Dance to counter any attempts at Hail, and emergency options should any Lapras get too close and still resist capture: Night Slash, Toxic, and Shadow Sneak. Pulse Train (the Klinklang) will be Dirk's "mount", using Magnet Rise to float while he effectively hoverboards the fully-Autotomised Pokemon over the water. It's not going to take him very far but it keeps him close enough to that level 100 Lapras of Armin's.
Peaches (that goddamn Smeargle) will be using Transform to become a Shiny copy of Carly's Gogoat Heidrun. With the Surf Ability, Peaches-as-Heidrun will be able to navigate the water of the bay to fight that level 100 Lapras and even take a position on shore, dealing damage and recovering health with moves like Leech Seed, Giga Drain and Horn Leach. She'll have Milk Drink in case of real health emergencies, and alternating that with Toxic and Protect, might even be able to stall a little... but time is of the essence here, so he'd really, really rather she not. If Peaches faints, Dirk will have PGenMon (Porygon2) for Magic Coat, or that timeless combo, Lock On + Zap Cannon.... plus Recover.... or just to Discharge electricity into the water and make catching the rest of the Lapras easier.
Jack: First of all, Dirk has no fucking clue how Jack's been here so long when his Pokemon are so useless. Fine. Whatever. Jack's real importance here is controlling the Laprasbot. He helped build it, he knows how to work it, he knows how (not) to break it. Sparky (Pachirisu) has Nuzzle, though, and is sprightly enough to jump from Lapras to Lapras using it. Electro Balls from such a speedy little fucker are going to be vital to picking off pod members, especially paralysed pod members who are now even slower... and therefore taking even more damage from it.
Carly: Kushi (Joltik) shares
Vore PositionBot Space with SIN, from which position it will be launching Electro Webs and Electro Balls. With Connie absent, Dirk is asking Carly to keep him updated on things he can't see, which means staying in the Laprasbot and using its cameras to survey the bay-slash-battlefield and keep him updated.Steve: Buttsnack (Swampert) is immune to all the electricity that’s going through the water, and has a powerful move in Rock Slide, which is not only capable of hitting multiple targets, but hems in the bay even more with heavy earth and stone… and which Lapras in general are weak to. However, Steve and Buttsnack are being held back from the fray until Armin’s level 100 Guard Lapras is either KO’d or captured, because Dirk doesn’t know what that Lapras is capable of, and his decision to have Peaches Transform into Heidrun comes with a weakness to Ice moves. If things go too far south in that regard, Dirk can and will “guide” Steve in battling with Buttsnack, whose Hammer Arm and Endeavour (plus natural bulk and comparative resistance to both Water and Ice moves) make him… a much better choice for that fight to begin with. Frankly. It’s too bad that it’s so hard to use Earthquakes on something that sits on top of the water…. then again, who knows what Rock Slide can do to that bay. (Maybe that’ll help poor Peaches a little too.) Buttsnack taking Dirk's orders over Steve's based on strategic merit is something they'll have to unpack later.
Every other person involved has two jobs: giving their Pokemon orders and catching Lapras.
Okay, actually Spinel has one job. But it's catching Pokemon.
And given the Pokemon in question here, many of which have the ability to use Shadow Sneak, once a little discord (and a little status) has been sown, the strategy will shift abruptly to Everyone Use Shadow Sneak. As quickly and as often as possible. It's going to look like a cartoon ninja attack. Or just the way Bro Strider fights, but times three. Zip-zip-zip. You know what I'm talking about.
Steven: Steven is wearing a gas mask, which is actually pretty smart considering his Pokemon and the whole... smokescreen thing. Also, he doesn't want to be identified by Armin! They're friends! Okay, whatever, says Dirk. Moving on. Surprisingly essential support, Skeleton's (Klefki) Metal Sound and Crafty Shield are going to put a real dent in the pods' defences... or that's the plan, because this Klefki isn't exactly packing much in the way of levels. Fairy Lock, though? You could say that's pretty key for Dirk's strategy to do as much damage as quickly as possible. Lapras that can't go anywhere are Lapras that aren't practising evasive manoeuvres. Once Skeleton faints, Miasmagoria (Gengar) has Levitate and can move freely in the pod. Dirk will want her spreading Confuse Ray and using Night Shade. No Hypnosis. Things are just too chaotic and he wants widespread paralysis for easier catches/more powerful Electro Balls. (Also, better odds. He doesn't like luck games.) Plus, the demoralising/terrifying effect of Night Shade will cause maximum chaos the fastest, ensuring the pod is broken up more quickly and the individual Lapras more easily subdued.
Tyler: Jester (Dusknoir) is much like Miasmagoria, in that it fucking floats, which is a big help. It also has Confuse Ray, and Night Shade. It also has Disable, which Dirk will want turned on as many Lapras as possible in as short as possible a time. If Jester faints, Dirk wants Tyler using Caltrops, and he wants Caltrops in the centre of the pod and using Explosion. Uh. Yeah. Yikes?
[Dirk Voice: Tyler, make your fucking bug explode.]
Lydia: Eclipse (Gengar) has the same job as Miasmagoria, for the exact same reasons. Edward (Zoroark... Dirk doesn't even ask why this thing is named Edward) is to follow up by using Night Daze and his illusion talents to do damage and continue the psychological warfare campaign against these poor Pokemon. And Pursuit is an excellent move to pick off Lapras that try to flee the bay, or just the fight.
Spinel: Spinel, like Tyler and Steven and Lydia, needs to be focused on looking for Lapras that look debilitated or ready to faint and catching them. That is her job. Dirk isn't really interested in trying to get someone so new involved in the battle situation, and having someone whose attention isn't split between her Pokemon and the Pokemon she's catching is actually a huge plus. Also she seems pretty energetic so maybe this'll be a thing she's into. He doesn't know.
This should be manageable, but Laprasbot COULD take a bit of a beating in the process. Something about electricity in the water, panicked and infuriated Lapras potentially ramming the bot, one Lapras in PARTICULAR potentially catching onto where the threat is coming from and trying to take the bot out... who knows what could happen! Dirk did his best to reinforce the thing, but what Dirk DOESN'T know, however, is what Carly didn't tell him: she and Steven hatched a plan behind Dirk's back, and Steven will be releasing one of the baby Lapras back into the water to hide, with the Pokeball he'd used to catch it now its held item. Just the kind of quick and dirty maneouvre Carly will be able see and Dirk won't. And inside that Pokeball is a note leading Armin to Olivine… and the rendezvous point where the Laprasbot crew are to hand over their catch. From there, it’s up to him.
The note DOES instruct him not to tell anyone, though.
Also to… uh, eat it. The note, I mean. The note says to eat the note.