Rocket Missions V.2

[indigo_league]

Welcome, valued Team Rocket member! Pursuing a career in the greatest organization of all time, eh? Well, you're in the right place!

This is the hub where you will find information on all team Missions. As stated in the Code of Conduct, all Rocket agents must be available to accept at least one mission at all times. They won't all be glamorous or exciting, but even mopping floors in one of the bases can lead to greater things! Team Rocket offers work in a variety of fields, with the primary openings being in four specific categories: maintenance, field work, science, and of course, the goal of most aspiring agents, leadership.

Maintenance: Brand new agents will likely be handed these jobs before anything else, as they're the easiest and least likely to result in police attention if you screw them up! They can include things like janitorial and laundry work in the bases, or serving fellow agents in the cafeteria.

Field Work: The most common missions take place in the field! Theft (whether it's as small as shoplifting some Potions or as big as participating in a full-scale heist) falls into this category, as does the simplest available mission, Pokemon acquisition. Anything you do to benefit the team outside of official Rocket premises can be considered field work!

Science: Science mission work mostly takes place out of the public eye, in official Rocket laboratories. The perfect field for more technically-minded agents, these jobs can include anything from pioneering new technology to experimentation on Pokemon themselves. Or it can be as dull as data entry. Grab a lab coat and see what you get!

Leadership: Getting sick of sharing those dorms? How does a private helicopter sound? Agents with lofty aspirations and a good work ethic may advance through the ranks and claim authority for themselves, earning swanky privileges, and more underlings to boss around than you can shake a stick at. This isn't to say that higher status doesn't come with its own responsibilities-- "Privates" and "Betas" are still expected to accomplish other missions (though usually not the maintenance ones-- that's grunt work), and even "Alphas" will usually work in the field. 'Leadership' jobs can even include tasks that just happen to require both specialized skills and a certain amount of trustworthiness to the Team. The main difference is tackling missions from an organizational, independent-thinking standpoint rather than just following orders-- YOU'RE the boss now!! Go put the fear of Arceus in some new recruits!

Rocket Missions

COLOR KEY: EASY -> REGULAR -> HARD
Notes: Missions marked FULL TIME, such as lab work, replace the Pokemon-per-week theft requirement.

HEADQUARTERS (Goldenrod and Celadon City)
M: Janitorial M: Cafeteria M: Laundry S: Data Entry [FULL TIME]	S: Tech Maintenance [FULL TIME] S: Data Collection [FULL TIME] S: Lab Animal Upkeep [FULL TIME]	L: Security [FULL TIME] L: Recruit Training [FULL TIME]

RADIO TOWERS (Goldenrod City and Lavender Town)
M: Receptionist	M: Newsroom	M: Advertising S: Sound Technician [FULL TIME] L: Radio Personality [FULL TIME]

GAME CORNERS (Goldenrod City and Celadon City)
M: Waiting Tables M: Prize Counter	M: Slot Machine Maintenance	M: Bartending L: Voltorb Flip L: Manager [FULL TIME]

STREETS AND ROUTES (anywhere)
F: Game Corner flyer distribution F: Rage Candybar sales F: Slowpoketail sales F: Pickpocketing/Shoplifting	F: Police Monitoring F: Heists/Grand Theft F: Scouting/mugging travelers	F: Directing heists F: Slowpoketail harvesting

OUTPOST
M: Escape Rope inventory M: Cleaning	F: Monitor Duty	L: Security

Rockets on Duty

NOTE: Team Rocket members who have not requested a specific mission (either listed or individual) will be considered on Pokemon-collecting duty and will not appear on this list.

CARLY NAGISA (Retired character)

STATION: Two Island

JOB: Intelligence Gathering, Base Establishment

NOTES: After successfully mapping the Whirl Islands, Team Rocket was more than happy to approve of Carly's requested reassignment to the Sevii Islands. After their first failed attempt at establishing a presence on the islands, Carly's reassignment will hopefully be laying the foundations for new Rocket base in this part of the region.

Vinegar Doppio (epitaffio)

STATION: In the field

JOB: Infiltration / information gathering.

NOTES:Though broadly speaking a group of enthusiastic nutjobs, the Legendary Seekers are still Johto and Kanto's prime hotspot for information on Legendary pokemon. Sure, 95% of it might just be blurry pictures and bull, but it is that 5% Team Rocket is after. Doppio has been assigned to infiltrate the group as a regular member and keep his ear to the ground regarding any rumours about Legendary Pokemon locations, sighting or items related to them. Of course, he will be expected to only report on actual viable leads, and not every blurry picture of someone's Ursaring walking through the forest.

Min-Gi Park (outofsynth)

STATION: Vermilion City

JOB: Squirtle Supervisor

NOTES: There are a very small gang of Squirtles in Vermilion City that Min-Gi's trained up to recruit for Team Rocket within the city and the surrounding routes. For the moment recruitment's all they're doing, but maybe one day there will be more to this. There might also be a minor rivalry between the criminally inclined Squirtles doing it for themselves, and the ones with ties to the Rockets.

__________





REQUESTING A MISSION:

"Hard" missions will only be given upon demand, as they may come with specific instructions and usually require at least a "Beta" rank. On the other hand, "Regular" and "Easy" missions can be picked up anytime by any team members that meet the requirements, if there are any.

Individual, personalized missions (player-determined) can also be requested at any time, and may vary beyond just the 'official' locations above-- the listed missions are guidelines, not restrictions! Get creative-- you may find yourself rewarded handsomely!

Comment here to claim a mission by filling out the form below:

<textarea><big><img src="http://indigo-league.dreamwidth.org/file/101948.png" alt="" /> <u><b>CHARACTER NAME HERE (<user name="USERNAME">)</b></u></big> <dd><li><b>STATION:</b>Write your character's job location here. If they will be working while they are traveling, just write "In the field". <li><b>JOB:</b> List or describe your character's desired job(s). If you want them to be assigned a mission by us instead of choosing one yourself, say so here! <li><b>NOTES:</b> If there's any extra details you'd like us and/or the game at large to know about what your character is doing, include them here!</dd>


REQUESTING A REWARD:

Let no one say that working for Team Rocket is thankless-- those who prove themselves worthy may request all manner of exciting rewards!

Maybe they've been distinguishing themselves by taking charge and deserve to move upward in the ranks, or maybe they pulled off a heist so impressive that Auntie Apricorn wants to give them a rare item from the Rocket vault! The greater the achievements, the better the loot!

Team Rocket has access to many resources and can even, depending on the request, offer rewards that aren't available via other means...

Comment here to request a reward by filling out the form below:

<big><b>CHARACTER NAME HERE</b></big> <dd><li><b>CURRENT RANK:</b> List your character's current rank in Team Rocket. (All characters enter Team Rocket at the rank of "Grunt"). <li><b>REQUESTED REWARD:</b> Note the desired reward for your character's efforts (an item? a Pokemon? special privileges? a hearty clap on the back from Uncle Haban?). If the request is a change in rank, list the rank you'd like your character to upgrade to. <li><b>JUSTIFY THE REWARD:</b> Briefly describe what your character has been doing to earn the requested reward here. Ideally this should involve going above and beyond the basic grunt-work that's already expected of them. Have fun and get creative!</dd>

NOTE: The mods may deny a reward if it's unfeasible or if the character's accomplishments don't match the value of the reward (ie, spraypainting a totally sick burn on the side of the Cerulean City Police Department might get you some brownie points with the admins, but they're not gonna give you a shiny Pokemon for it.) If this happens, we will be happy to offer alternative rewards or suggestions of what it would take to earn the desired reward!

「 NAVIGATION 」

Comments

Requesting a Mission

[indigo_league]

Comment here to request a Rocket Mission!

Requesting a Reward

[indigo_league]

Comment here to request a reward for your efforts!

slaps this down to cover me an raile both

[insidescoop]

CHARACTER NAME HERE Dirk Strider & Carly Nagisa

CURRENT RANK: Grunt & Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Dirk's Requests: No reward except keeping a pair of Farfetch'd, unless a bump up to private is something you can get after one heist (and two... full time jobs? Ugh. Okay, fuck this dude.) He just wanted to make a good early impression... boss.

Carly's Request: One of the pokemon from the haul- oocly, if it is okay, I would like for her to receive a shiny pokemon! (This is of course...why I didn't specify which pokemon. I'm assuming that's a matter of a random roll.) *and i mean if this could get them promoted then heck that's super rad too

*Carly, Tragically, does not know how to barter for rank and pay in these situations, and just didn't want to look bad when the guy she recruited went and took initiative.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: On October 17th, after defeating the Cianwood Gym, Carly and Dirk set out to perform a mass heist on the Safari Zone patrons.

As part of this, there was a lot of scouting around the place, with quite a great amount of preparation put in to make sure that their escape and theft would go as cleanly as possible. In addition to using the setting sun to their great advantage, mechanical dummies were made to take and redirect attacks from themselves, while they- in disguise and later bold uniform- got to work.

Heist work was a simple matter of using sneakier pokemon techniques to disorient people coming down the road from the Safari Zone, stealing as many pokemon as possible both to maximize the yield, and also prevent retaliation- the aim was to get the pokeballs before pokemon were even released.

Once combat Did begin to come into play, there was lots of pulling out the larger (scarier) pokemon for posturing and threatening involved (while actually pummeling who they could). As soon as it became clear the police (and possibly Chuck for that matter) were coming however they announced their win, and flew out under the combination of a disguised Delibird and disguised Golurk, flying off to the nearest hide-away to get changed. (and from there, fly out Farther, separately)

ICly, it should be noted that Carly didn't expect any reward other than the standard 'you get a TM and some cash for a pokemon over X level'.

AND THEN TEAM ROCKET RUINED BASEBALL

[fingersandteeth]

Steven Durante, Tyler Huang, Lydia (with a smol assist from Handsome Jack)

CURRENT RANK: All Grunts, baby! (... although Jack is a Alpha)

REQUESTED REWARD: As the man leading the mascot heist, having come up with the idea and recruited the other two into it, Steven D wants to be promoted up to private. (Further justification: he’s been part of a successful large-scale heist before and often goes beyond the minimum in turning in ‘mons for his quota.) Tyler is looking to pad his crime resume to make way for future promotion! Lydia desires fame/recognition within the Team and CASH MONEYS. (Actually, money would be nice for all of them. These are some basic-ass bitches.) Team Rocket basically allowing Tyler and Lydia to each keep one of the guards’ pokemon (while handing the other two in) if we manage to grab them would also be cool, guys.

Steven also would like some of the credit for their heist to go to Handsome Jack, who has been mentoring all of them and who played a minor but key part in this. While he was not an active participant in the heist, it was done with his full knowledge and approval and he allowed them the use of his home as a base for the heist. Also, he kept an eye on Fuzzles after Steven and Tyler dropped him and his dog stuff off, so that they could return to the scene of the crime to give Lydia back-up AND WRECK MOAR HAVOC in the glorious name of Team Rocket.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Steven, Tyler, and Lydia are here to steal the shiny mascot of the Goldenrod Granbulls (Zeus AKA Fuzzles) and in general destroy baseball in Johto, right before the new season opens.

SO! This particular heist caper is taking place not the night before the baseball season opens, but the night before the night before, in order to take advantage of the last night with minimal security presence. Given that it’s a baseball stadium that they’re attacking, this is going to be more or less an open air heist, which is useful as teleporting is an important part of their strategy. Also, given that these Rockets are all relative babies in terms of pokemon levels--Steven’s Murkrow at 30 is their highest--actual pokemon battles are to be avoided at all costs, in favor of human-on-human and pokemon-on-human physical violence.

Also, everyone is wearing gas masks with their Rocket uniforms, for very important reasons that mostly involve each of them having a pokemon with gassing capability and there being a likely chance they’ll need to use them. They also all three have teleporters and hypotizers. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. They’ve all prepped by practicing teleportation with their various teleporters, so that said teleporters can bring them along too when they poof in and out. Everyone is keeping track of the number of teleports they’ve done, so they know when they have to clear the stadium. Everyone’s got a full complement of pokemon with them (except Tyler who only has four so far) and will be letting as many out of their balls as they need to at a time.

The heist begins not long after midnight, at a time when they know the patrolling guard to be far away from the pressbox. All three teleport in, Steven and Tyler to the stands up near the pressbox and Lydia at a point in the stands/stadium/diamond that is both far from the pressbox and relatively far from the patrolling guard. Lydia goes into full drama mode and plays distraction for the guard as an EVIL ROCKET who is KIDNAPPING A CHILD (that child being her Zorua in disguise.) This ought to lure the guard rushing in towards her--at which point she’ll teleport away further leading him on a merry chase around baseball diamond where she teleports away whenever he seems to be closing in.

While all this is going on, Lydia’s Vulpix is busy creating a big R of fire in the middle of the baseball diamond, only it doesn’t quite close the loop on top so it kind of looks like a funny-looking K. THEY ARE NOT GOOD AT THIS THEY ARE BABEY.

With Lydia and her pokemon in full distraction mode, this gives Steven and Tyler the opportunity to sneak into the little pressbox building, using Steven’s Klefki as a masterkey to unlock any doors in their way. WITH ANY LUCK Fuzzle’s handler is still asleep, but if not Tyler’s Drowzee and Steven’s Gastly both have Hypnosis and can make him sleep. (And in the Gastly’s case, can sneak through cracks in the door to put people to sleep before anyone else even enters the room.) They make sure the handler is snoozing, steal some of his laundry so that they’ll have the right scent for Fuzzle, then use Steven’s Klefki’s amazing locking/unlocking powers to seal the handler in his room.

Then it’s time to get Fuzzles! The Drowzee/Gastly dream team keeps the mascot ‘mon a-snoozing, which allows Steven (who’s got some of that laundry on his shoulders) to scoop up Fuzzles and Tyler to gather up as much dog care shit as he can carry--including the mascot’s pokeball, which they should have by now. Team Rocket calling cards are left on the scene.

Then Steven’s Stufful uses its murderously strong punching ability to create a hole in the pressbox for an even quicker getaway and once Steven and Tyler are out in the fresh air again they teleport to Jack’s backyard, at which point they immediately run into the house, depositing Fuzzles and his various paraphernalia with the waiting Jack (who’s honestly probably just been watching TV or listening to music all night), and run the fuck RIGHT BACK OUT so that they can teleport back to the stadium in order to provide Lydia back-up and in general WRECK HAVOC. All the havoc. All of it.

Spamming teleports allows them to get the drop on both janitors and guards and physically assault them. As noted above, they are concerned with issuing human-on-human and pokemon-on-human violence whenever possible. Steven’s preferred method of human-on-human violence is choking out strangling people until they lose consciousness (thanks Jack!) and Tyler is into cold-cocking through various means. Lydia is above physical violence and just sends her pokemon to attack the humans directly.

When attempting to take down the guards (who we’ll assume are BOTH on the scene by now), Steven and Tyler will teleport in from directly above an individual guard, hoping to knock said guard over as gravity takes its toll. Whether or not they can, they spring into physical assault mode. Lydia stops playing keep away and sends her Gastly up into the faces of the guards, attempting to poison them. Licking may also ensue, in hopes of causing paralysis. Lydia’s Hoothoot and Steven’s Gastly, Shuppet, and Murkrow also join in the fun, also targeting the guards themselves and not their pokes. Meanwhile, Steven’s Stufful and Tyler’s Galarian Farfetch’d are just tearing up however much of the stadium they can for funsies. At one point a gas cloud is probably turned into a fireball with somebody’s fire pokemon as a lighter. There is even probably some graffiti happening if they get the chance to.

IN GENERAL, their goal now is to cause as much chaos and havoc as they can and hopefully make every last guard or janitor unconscious before they get too close to their teleport limits and have to abscond away to Jack’s backyard. Whoever they knock out will have all their pokemon stolen, that is just a fact. If it sounds like the Jennies are coming, they will also recall all their pokemon to their balls (except the teleporters) and teleport the fuck out. Or, you know, whenever they get bored of wrecking a baseball stadium, if the Jennies don’t come.

Once they’re all clear and in Jack’s backyard, it’s back the fuck into the house, time to shed our uniforms and retreat to the finished basement (and Steven’s collection of ghosts that live there) to lie low for the rest of the night and recover from how goddamn nauseous they are from all the repeat teleporting. Everyone gets a turn in the downstairs shower except Steven who gets to use the one in Jack’s bedroom. Time to count up our stolen pokeballs and see if we can persuade Fuzzles that we’re his friends. (Doom Boner, Jack’s incredibly fat Houndoom, probably has decided that Fuzzles is his new best friend.)

One long rest later (and certainly enough time for news of the stadium attack to spread throughout the city), they’ll make their report to the admins. Steven is personally handing in Fuzzles, as well as any Trubbish or Grimer that they got off Janitors. He’s not requesting to keep anything. Lydia is handing in Lucario from the Arcanine + Lucario team if we get our hands on it and would ask to keep the Arcanine. Tyler is handing in Stoutland of the Machamp + Stoutland team members if we got our hands on that one and would ask to keep the Machamp.

Jack is handing in no one, but he’s probably there to be smug and brag about his team.

P.S. If the heist plan fails or is only a partial success (we get Fuzzles but no one else), Lydia's player is happy to have her get captured.

P.P.S. Steven and Tyler would definitely prioritize their safety over freeing her and get out ASAP.

maybe the real reward was the butts we kissed along the way

[insidescoop]

CARLY NAGISA

CURRENT RANK: Carly - Private
Dirk - Private
Steven - Private
Steve P - Grunt
Connie - Grunt
Tyler - Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: ~Nothing But A Job Well Done~

Well technically it's CoolRep with the Admins, but you'll see BELOOOooooow...

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: As seen last week, things haven't been very Golden in Goldenrod, and Carly has been watching the proceedings like a hawk. She knows what kind of fallout comes of these things. It's not good.

Now technically it Could have blown over with further time, but she's got better ideas, one that she ropes Connie into first before extending the olive branch to the remaining 'transferred' Rockets.

They're gonna handle the Admin's Hot Potato, for...Nothing more than the Glory of Team Rocket, one could say.

The plan begins with perhaps the most important part.

Namely Carly sucking up to the Admins.

Specifically Carly takes a brief trip to Goldenrod via train, and after figuring out just whereabouts the Admins will be, prepares her steely 'i get shouted at by my bosses a lot and no longer care' heart to go face them while using her villain voice and composure. And she offers them a solution to their...recent dog problem.

It's not going to go away after all. And the people are upset. Baseball was ruined! Hearts broken! She understands the importance of well placed villainy, and this is far from it. But she has a plan; it may cost a bit of image, but that's something she insists will be brought back very readily- she has a plan deserving of Rocket's Name. One that won't end up with dangerous merchandise burning a hole through their base.

But more on that later, she'll explain- because after all, a truly wonderful plan would be something she runs by them before putting into action, so they'll hear about those ideas before it happens, with plenty of time to stake their own well deserved claims on the payoff!

For now, a payoff of a different sort. She puts it clearly; there's a reward for the dog. Of course there's a reward for the dog, everyone loves him. So she explains that with her experience in media, she has the plan to stage a 'rescue' of said pokemon by one of their younger grunts. Notably, Connie is with her as she explains this, with Carly explaining that she's taken the young hopeful under her wing. And she's doing MARVELOUSLY, Admins! Why, her skills in improvization and deceit are second to none! You should have seen her in the double battles, not to mention her place in the Rat Race, using civillian roles.

And that's just the role she'll be taking up for this; the plan is that she'll 'rescue' the granbull, return it to the baseball team, and cash in the reward...

Which, of course, goes directly into Team Rocket's hands. A small reward, true- but at the very least, it means that they don't carry a growing target in their hands, and really, isn't that what's best?

Now, presumably this is 'okay'd'. Ultimately Carly can't really do anything if the Admins don't give the Go-Ahead, since the entire point is buttering them up for future credit.

Using a script put together with special pokemon-induced effects (most notably that of Peaches' transform skills, a zorua playing the role of that 'kidnapped' child again, and Connie's Zoroark creating a heck of a stage), and the skills both known and absorbed via Fuchsia's film industry (Carly and Connie spent the prior week sitting around the city), the entire team puts together an act where just enough trainers will be around to see what's going on.

It's risky- some of them may well join in- but part of the plan counts on Connie's pride and pokemon keeping them back as she handles the job herself. Well, mostly by herself. Playing the role of hero in a very...Faego Flavored Script (which is to say that Tyler and Dirk have pulled from murdertastic drama and pro wrestling, fortunately with Less Murder, for inspiration), Connie will be performing a daring rescue, helped by the soon released 'Zeus' (...Peaches) himself! But alas! Team Rocket blasts off yet again, their escape leaving them out of the clutches of law once more!

But at least 'Zeus' has been recovered!

From there, she takes the real Zeus to the authorities with helpful guidance from whoever is around, and gets the reward. It's really as easy as simple money transfers after that (and naturally, Fuzzles was nonethewiser, simply sleeping soundly in his pokeball after a delightful week of playing around with a houndoom. We love you Fuzzles).

It's a lot of work just for something like this, but ultimately that's something Carly intends to work in their favor as well.

Anything for the glory of Team Rocket, after all.

[asmywitness]

CHARACTER NAME HERE Tyler Huang

CURRENT RANK: Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Mostly just recognition and some extra helpings of cash? He doesn't think this will earn him a Private rank but it's good to try and repair his image in the admins' eyes after the Fuzzles Kerfuffle.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Tyler is going to be spending the week when he gets back to Goldenrod (so from the 1st to the 7th) hanging out in different districts of Goldenrod and attempting to rob people.

It's a two-fold operation: Tyler will use his Natu to mentally ping potential targets - these being rich-looking, older businessmen who look like they could be CEOs or whatever - and use that to manipulate their thoughts and coax them into a quiet area with no witnesses or cameras (could be booth seats at a restaurant, or into an alleyway, or a toilet. Just. Out of general sight). Once they're alone, he'll use his Hypno to hypnotise them completely, and get them to hand over A) their credit card details, and B) one of their rarer Pokemon, where applicable: specifically he will be aiming for Pokemon not typically found in Johto alone. He will be handing everything he collects over to Team Rocket, because he doesn't actually care about it for himself, but he won't object if he gets one of the Pokemon as a reward.

When Tyler does this, he will be wearing a different outfit every time, and also an assortment of wigs so each time he looks different enough to cause doubt. At least once he will wear his skirt-Rocket outfit to shake things up. He will have his Natu in its Pokeball until he starts the sting, and teleport away from each scene when he leaves (and end up back in Rocket HQ).

someone needs to get his rep back too

[fingersandteeth]

Steven Durante

CURRENT RANK: Private

REQUESTED REWARD: Honestly, he’s just trying to restore his reputation with the admins from the huge ding it took after the Mascot Heist backfired. And, you know, if increases said rep past the ding it got from Mascot Heist, that’s good too.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Okay. So. After Tyler’s week of nightly pokemon theft begins to draw to a close, Steven realizes two things: first, that he needs to get on his own ass in gear to repair his own rep with some sort of large-scale pokemon haul… and second, that Tyler’s strategy of using his birb to psychically lure people off was a damn good idea and definitely something to include in his own efforts. But because he doesn’t want to get in Tyler’s way, he doesn’t want to do his thing in Goldenrod.

Saffron City, however…

Well. Taking an overnight trip with his boyfriend is a decent enough excuse to be there, isn’t it? And a decent enough cover for his activities too. They can do some shopping, maybe go to Silph Co and look at (but hopefully not adopt) some of the Nulls… have an early supper and retire to the penthouse suite, complete with roof garden, of the fancy hotel they’re staying at before it’s even ten o’clock… and given how they’ve been eyefucking each other all night, how they played footsie at their supper out, and the little subtle touches they’ve been giving each other… I mean, it’s obvious to any observer what’s going to happen next, right? Two grown-ass men having wild monkey sex all night, right?

That’s going to happen eventually, actually. But not quite yet.

Steven’s been to Saffron before as a tourist. He’s got a decent idea of where there’s a fair number of dark corners and darker alleyways. Enough of an idea to plan what’s basically a teleportation route of certain alleyways scattered through various neighborhoods in Saffron--basically, all the districts that have anything resembling a night life--with ten separate stops, one that bounces all over the city in a way that can only done practically with teleportation..

So. Once Steven and Jack are alone together in their penthouse suite, Steven will change from his normal date night clothes to a plain all black ensemble and don the gas mask he’d originally procured for the mascot heist, thus completely obscuring his facial features, before heading out to the rooftop garden at ten o’clock.

That’s when Acatl, Steven’s Xatu, will teleport him to the dark alleyway that’s the first stop on his route. He’ll release Miasmagoria, his Haunter, and Skeleton, his Klefki, and the three of them will lie in wait while the Xatu psychically scouts out small groups of people out enjoying the night life--young couples, perhaps, or friends going out to have fun together. The Xatu will psychically lure those small groups into the alleyway, at which point the Klefki locks their movements in place, so they can’t leave and the Haunter immediately swoops in to gas them all into unconsciousness. Meanwhile Steven’s Haunter will also use Night Shade to show their victims an unreasonably terrifying mirage once they enter the alleyway, hiding Steven’s form (even if it won't do damage to them), but even if she wasn't, Steven’s still going to be in an even darker corner of that dark alleyway, with a gas mask obscuring his face, so there’s not going to be any real identifying details for the victims to go with, other than he’s tall and jacked.

Once his victims are unconscious, Steven will quickly and methodically search their bodies, removing any valuables and any pokeballs on them, and then proceed onward to his next stop on his route. Lather, rinse, and repeat nine more times. At bare minimum, he ought to be able to steal cash from twenty people this way and probably net a comparable number of pokeballs. And because he’s doing this quickly and methodically, he ought to be able to get his route done with by one in the morning, if not sooner.

At which point Steven and his team teleport back to the rooftop garden, so he can saunter back into the penthouse suite where Jack awaits him, probably having been watching hotel pay-per-view porn or some other television since he left. Steven strips off his heist clothing, stashes the stolen goods and heist clothing in the false compartments of his and Jack’s overnight luggages, and then, finally the two of them get to have wild monkey sex for the rest of the night. (And post-crime sex is always, always good.)

They leisurely leave Saffron the next morning, like the overnight trippers they are. Once back in Goldenrod, Steven removes the stolen goods from the luggage and packs it up to take to the admins that afternoon. He apologizes to the admins for the trouble he and his crew created via Fuzzle’s kidnapping and says that he hopes that this might somehow make up for it.

Given that he just presented them with the stolen goods of twenty-to-thirty people? Hopefully it will.

ETA: Obviously if things look like they're going south, he's ditching the plan and teleporting back to Jack ASAP. A repaired rep is not worth getting caught.

[wonderland_vogue]

Lydia

CURRENT RANK: Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: For the admins to honestly not hate her guts after the baseball thing if they still care. If not, just some extra clout to work up that ladder, baby.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Hilariously all she's doing is teleporting from Ecruteak back to Goldenrod to shove a female level 25 pangoro at their faces. THAT'S A FOUR STAR POKEMON, SHUT UP AND TAKE HER POKEMON. That she caught on Route 42 around midweek.

aaaaAAAAA

[uber_marionettist]

Dirk Strider... and Jack, Carly, Steven, Steve, Lydia, Tyler, Spinel. Everyone except Connie?!

CURRENT RANK: In order: Private, Alpha, Private, Private, Grunt, Grunt, Grunt, Grunt. I think.

REQUESTED REWARD: Dirk wants a promotion to Beta. Jack wants cash money. Carly, Tyler, Steven, and Lydia want money… and the higher ups to be paying attention to their good work. Carly also wants one of the Lapras. Steve wants money, and he wants to stop being a Grunt. Spinel wants a Shiny Pokemon, which is EXTREMELY valid.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: At last, the Laprasbot is complete. (It's been complete, actually.) Dirk's stitches are out. Everyone is talking to each other again. Mostly. The heist is on.

They will be approaching the bay in which Armin's pod shelters under the cloak of night, which is easier said than done because Laprasbot fits seven fucking people in it. But by waiting for a foggy night and an hour by which all good humans have long been asleep, and with the Laprasbot at full speed, it will emerge larger-than-life just in time to block the seaward entrance to the bay. The side hatch of the shell will open. And the attack will commence.

First things first: Dirk and Steve P will Surf over to Armin's boat, where Steve will slip into Armin's bedroom, physically "subdue" him, tie him up, and lock him in his own bathroom. Dirk is backup/supervision. Then it's back to Laprasbot for the heist heist.

For reference: Laprasbot's eyes are cameras, the mouth contains two Pokemon, and it's insulated with glass and ceramic as well as rubber. You know, so the fragile humans and also fragile electrical systems don't fry in the ensuing battle.

Dirk: SIN (Greninja) is in Laprasbot's mouth, using Smokescreen to disorient the pod (and help obscure the bot to reduce the damage it takes.) SIN will also Role Play the Water Absorb ability to keep himself going, Rain Dance to counter any attempts at Hail, and emergency options should any Lapras get too close and still resist capture: Night Slash, Toxic, and Shadow Sneak. Pulse Train (the Klinklang) will be Dirk's "mount", using Magnet Rise to float while he effectively hoverboards the fully-Autotomised Pokemon over the water. It's not going to take him very far but it keeps him close enough to that level 100 Lapras of Armin's.

Peaches (that goddamn Smeargle) will be using Transform to become a Shiny copy of Carly's Gogoat Heidrun. With the Surf Ability, Peaches-as-Heidrun will be able to navigate the water of the bay to fight that level 100 Lapras and even take a position on shore, dealing damage and recovering health with moves like Leech Seed, Giga Drain and Horn Leach. She'll have Milk Drink in case of real health emergencies, and alternating that with Toxic and Protect, might even be able to stall a little... but time is of the essence here, so he'd really, really rather she not. If Peaches faints, Dirk will have PGenMon (Porygon2) for Magic Coat, or that timeless combo, Lock On + Zap Cannon.... plus Recover.... or just to Discharge electricity into the water and make catching the rest of the Lapras easier.

Jack: First of all, Dirk has no fucking clue how Jack's been here so long when his Pokemon are so useless. Fine. Whatever. Jack's real importance here is controlling the Laprasbot. He helped build it, he knows how to work it, he knows how (not) to break it. Sparky (Pachirisu) has Nuzzle, though, and is sprightly enough to jump from Lapras to Lapras using it. Electro Balls from such a speedy little fucker are going to be vital to picking off pod members, especially paralysed pod members who are now even slower... and therefore taking even more damage from it.

Carly: Kushi (Joltik) shares Vore Position Bot Space with SIN, from which position it will be launching Electro Webs and Electro Balls. With Connie absent, Dirk is asking Carly to keep him updated on things he can't see, which means staying in the Laprasbot and using its cameras to survey the bay-slash-battlefield and keep him updated.

Steve: Buttsnack (Swampert) is immune to all the electricity that’s going through the water, and has a powerful move in Rock Slide, which is not only capable of hitting multiple targets, but hems in the bay even more with heavy earth and stone… and which Lapras in general are weak to. However, Steve and Buttsnack are being held back from the fray until Armin’s level 100 Guard Lapras is either KO’d or captured, because Dirk doesn’t know what that Lapras is capable of, and his decision to have Peaches Transform into Heidrun comes with a weakness to Ice moves. If things go too far south in that regard, Dirk can and will “guide” Steve in battling with Buttsnack, whose Hammer Arm and Endeavour (plus natural bulk and comparative resistance to both Water and Ice moves) make him… a much better choice for that fight to begin with. Frankly. It’s too bad that it’s so hard to use Earthquakes on something that sits on top of the water…. then again, who knows what Rock Slide can do to that bay. (Maybe that’ll help poor Peaches a little too.) Buttsnack taking Dirk's orders over Steve's based on strategic merit is something they'll have to unpack later.




Every other person involved has two jobs: giving their Pokemon orders and catching Lapras.

Okay, actually Spinel has one job. But it's catching Pokemon.

And given the Pokemon in question here, many of which have the ability to use Shadow Sneak, once a little discord (and a little status) has been sown, the strategy will shift abruptly to Everyone Use Shadow Sneak. As quickly and as often as possible. It's going to look like a cartoon ninja attack. Or just the way Bro Strider fights, but times three. Zip-zip-zip. You know what I'm talking about.

Steven: Steven is wearing a gas mask, which is actually pretty smart considering his Pokemon and the whole... smokescreen thing. Also, he doesn't want to be identified by Armin! They're friends! Okay, whatever, says Dirk. Moving on. Surprisingly essential support, Skeleton's (Klefki) Metal Sound and Crafty Shield are going to put a real dent in the pods' defences... or that's the plan, because this Klefki isn't exactly packing much in the way of levels. Fairy Lock, though? You could say that's pretty key for Dirk's strategy to do as much damage as quickly as possible. Lapras that can't go anywhere are Lapras that aren't practising evasive manoeuvres. Once Skeleton faints, Miasmagoria (Gengar) has Levitate and can move freely in the pod. Dirk will want her spreading Confuse Ray and using Night Shade. No Hypnosis. Things are just too chaotic and he wants widespread paralysis for easier catches/more powerful Electro Balls. (Also, better odds. He doesn't like luck games.) Plus, the demoralising/terrifying effect of Night Shade will cause maximum chaos the fastest, ensuring the pod is broken up more quickly and the individual Lapras more easily subdued.

Tyler: Jester (Dusknoir) is much like Miasmagoria, in that it fucking floats, which is a big help. It also has Confuse Ray, and Night Shade. It also has Disable, which Dirk will want turned on as many Lapras as possible in as short as possible a time. If Jester faints, Dirk wants Tyler using Caltrops, and he wants Caltrops in the centre of the pod and using Explosion. Uh. Yeah. Yikes?

[Dirk Voice: Tyler, make your fucking bug explode.]

Lydia: Eclipse (Gengar) has the same job as Miasmagoria, for the exact same reasons. Edward (Zoroark... Dirk doesn't even ask why this thing is named Edward) is to follow up by using Night Daze and his illusion talents to do damage and continue the psychological warfare campaign against these poor Pokemon. And Pursuit is an excellent move to pick off Lapras that try to flee the bay, or just the fight.

Spinel: Spinel, like Tyler and Steven and Lydia, needs to be focused on looking for Lapras that look debilitated or ready to faint and catching them. That is her job. Dirk isn't really interested in trying to get someone so new involved in the battle situation, and having someone whose attention isn't split between her Pokemon and the Pokemon she's catching is actually a huge plus. Also she seems pretty energetic so maybe this'll be a thing she's into. He doesn't know.



This should be manageable, but Laprasbot COULD take a bit of a beating in the process. Something about electricity in the water, panicked and infuriated Lapras potentially ramming the bot, one Lapras in PARTICULAR potentially catching onto where the threat is coming from and trying to take the bot out... who knows what could happen! Dirk did his best to reinforce the thing, but what Dirk DOESN'T know, however, is what Carly didn't tell him: she and Steven hatched a plan behind Dirk's back, and Steven will be releasing one of the baby Lapras back into the water to hide, with the Pokeball he'd used to catch it now its held item. Just the kind of quick and dirty maneouvre Carly will be able see and Dirk won't. And inside that Pokeball is a note leading Armin to Olivine… and the rendezvous point where the Laprasbot crew are to hand over their catch. From there, it’s up to him.

The note DOES instruct him not to tell anyone, though.

Also to… uh, eat it. The note, I mean. The note says to eat the note.

Re: Requesting a Reward

[fingersandteeth]

STEVEN DURANTE AND HANDSOME JACK

CURRENT RANK: Steven’s a Private. Jack is our local Alpha.

REQUESTED REWARD: Steven hopes to be promoted to Beta now or in the near future, citing his participation in Dirk’s Lapras heist as well as his Saffron Mugging Speedrun (and its subsequent repeat here in Goldenrod) as further proof of his dedication to the Team. He also very regularly turns in more pokemon for his quota than the minimum.

Jack mostly just wants those fat stacks of cash money, because having risen as far as an otherworld transfer has been allowed to go, what else is there left for them to reward him with? (Seriously, though, make Jack an admin already #JusticeforJack)

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: So. While they were working closely together on Fight Club in the aftermath of Jack’s little shitfit about not being mentioned in the Help Wanted Ad, the subject came up between Steven and Jack that for all that they’d both been a part of Dirk’s Fossil and Lapras Heists and for all that Jack had played a supportive element in the Great Baseball Heist and the Saffron Mugging Speedrun… despite all that, they’d never truly teamed up to do crime together. Jack had been paired up with Carly for both of Dirk’s heists, after all, and he’d spent most of the other two being an allibi--well and a temporary doggy babysitter.

Obviously, they needed to pull off a heist together. Maybe spend a long weekend in the Sevii Islands, hit some tourists and rob… something. Something, maybe, like Resort Gorgeous. Jack’s filthy rich, after all, he can afford two or three nights there for the two of them while they prep the heist. And Steven’s got plans leftover from the S.S. Anne heist that he and Tyler never managed to pull off due to various issues around timing that he can easily adapt to an actual luxury resort on land vs a floating luxury resort at sea.

And you know, Steven getting transferred to the newsroom at the radio tower is a pretty decent excuse for a little getaway to celebrate--and he’ll have what amounts to a few extra days off between finishing the reception job and starting the newsroom job. This is the perfect time to do the job, especially since the weather on Sevii is rather nice in May anyway.

So! Jack books them for a nice long weekend in one of those Couples Villas and the two of them head off to Sevii--but before all that, they stop at the department store, so they can buy the Teleport TM for Jack to use on his Porygon, because Teleporting is very useful for crime and Steven’s surprised that Jack didn’t have a Teleporter already. They also stop by Tyler’s flat, so Steven can borrow EVA for the long weekend.

Once they reach Resort Gorgeous… they spend the first night there just being rich gay tourists living their best life. And most of the next two days being the same… while also quietly paying attention to things like when the bungalows get cleaned, where the cleaners have their uniforms… things like that. You know how it is. A pair of cleaner’s uniforms might go missing from the employee’s only section, but it’s fine. It’s fine.

(Sometime during all this, Steven probably visits Armin. Both because he said he’d come and see him if he was ever at Sevii and also, secretly, to check up on him post-heist.)

The third day, they check out in the morning, before heading into town to rent a boat for the afternoon, mooring it at a rock formation sufficiently away from shore and letting one of Jack’s Meowths (honestly, it’s probably Cattrap) out to guard it. Then they quickly change into their stolen cleaners uniforms and through the magic of wigs, fake beards, and padding, thoroughly disguise themselves as the humble cleaners of hotel rooms.

Traveling by teleport, they reach Resort Gorgeous just in time to see the real cleaners finish their rounds. Still disguised, they then visit all eight bungalows, using a combination of Skeleton (Steven’s Klefki) for getting past physical locks and EVA (the Rotom he borrowed from Tyler) to get past the electronic ones. They then proceed to loot the room/bungalow safes with Skeleton and EVA, taking whatever valuables lie within, be it jewelry or rare pokemon. A business card with the Team Rocket logo is left behind at each.

More teleports get them back to the rental boat, where they change back into their normal clothes and clean up to their regular appearance. They stash the valuables in the false bottoms of their luggage and not too long after, take the boat back in and get on the first of multiple ferries that will take them back home.

Once back at Jack’s house, they review their loot and see if there’s anything in particular they want to keep. Then they bunde it up to bring to the admins together. And while the quantity of the stolen goods is by nature limited--there’s only eight bungalows to be occupied at Resort Gorgeous, after all--the high price tag of a night’s stay at the Resort means that the Pokemon and valuables locked away are almost sure to be extremely high quality.

They’re a pair of high quality criminals, after all.

P.S. Needless to say, if they're about to be caught, they're immediately teleporting the fuck out.

Look we CAN'T have steve fucking p be higher rank than us

[asmywitness]

Tyler Huang and Lydia

CURRENT RANK: Grunts, the both of them.

REQUESTED REWARD: Private rank please. Cash money and rare Pokemon are also accepted but not preferred over ranking up.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD:
Remember Tyler's earlier heist where he stole a shit-ton of money from high profile accounts by hypnotising old businessmen? He's doing it again with Lydia.

Lydia has a list of people she has done Totally Legitimate Business Transactions with (she slept with them. For money) in Ekruteak, and now she's calling in. While she distracts their marks, Tyler will be going through the house with his Natu and Dusknoir, looking for valuable and expensive items to loot - we're talking paintings, jewelry, safes in which cash and possibly rare items sit; and of course, bank account details. where the offshore accounts at

When Lydia is done with their mark, they will steal their rarest Pokemon. Tyler will also hypnotise them to forget the thefts, and place a severe mental block in which they will be unable to actively associate Lydia with the thefts in their house.

They plan on hitting seven houses over one week this way - all older men with certifiably ridiculous numbers of assets, and besides the hypnotism there's a large amount of banking on egos to hide the crimes. Lydia's role is largely being credited as scoping out their marks as a form of long-term recon, while Tyler is more the strike team, and it is by pure combination of skill that they were able to get such a savage haul.

let's go fuck up old man kurt

[fingersandteeth]

Steven Durante, Steve Palchuk, and Tyler Huang

CURRENT RANK: All privates, baby!

REQUESTED REWARD: For brainstorming and masterminding the heist, Steven D asks that his abilities be remembered for the future (hint hint) and also would be very much in favor of another multi-use TM or perhaps a shiny pokemon or something with a cool mega-evolution. (Honestly, just being able to get himself on the air for fifteen minutes was reward enough but he’s not telling the admins that.)

Steve P would like either a reusable TM or a battle item!

Tyler will nab one of the slowpokes for his own if it’s either Shiny or Galar (or BOTH), but if not, then he’s just sort of phoning the whole reward request in. Cash money, TM, whatever’s good.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Okay. So. Our story begins with Steven Durante, annoyed with his recent failure at binning Jasmine in Olivine, deciding that before he goes back to try again, he’s going to want to actually go and get those warps he’s missing in Azalea Town and Violet City. But given how long it take to travel to these places, it’s fairly likely that he’d need to take off work for it--and if he doesn’t want it coming from his PTO, then he probably should frame the trip as something crime related, so that not only can he get his time off easily, but then he can expense the entire trip to the Team.

Now, the easiest thing to do in this case would just be to declare his intentions of going there to mug a couple people while in uniform and then split. But that’s not how Steven Durante rolls. If he’s going to do this, he’s going to do a proper heist, one that will remind the admins how capable he is, so that when the proper time comes they will promote him to Beta. So Steven goes to the Rocket Archives and starts going through their records of various crimes and capers done in Azalea Town for inspiration and that’s when he sees it: The Incident With Kurt At The Slowpoke Well.

Steven immediately hatches a Plan. One that not will only give him an excuse to travel to Azalea and expense it to the Team, but one that will also give him the chance to be broadcast on the radio, albeit as part of a pre-recorded fifteen-minute segment and not as an actual host. He frames the entire heist as a long-delayed revenge on Kurt to the admins: long years ago, Team Rocket was absolutely humiliated by being forced out of the Slowpoke Well by an old man and a couple of kids. Now they’re going to humiliate him back.

So! Steven heads down to Azalea by way of Violet alongside Tyler--who he tells about the heist plan along the way--and finally grabs the two early warps he missed. He then spends a couple days in town, interviewing people about the slowpoke well and the incident all those years ago--including Kurt and his granddaughter Maizie, in their own home, which allows him to do some preliminary casing of the joint. In the course of the interview, he asks just the right leading questions to ensure that Kurt and Maizie both make statements that can be seen as a challenge to Team Rocket.

Then it’s back to Goldenrod, where Steven edits his audio recordings from Azalea into a coherent narrative piece, even as he and Tyler are reaching out to Steve Palchuck to help them on the heist itself, since the plan that Steven’s developed (with Tyler’s input) is definitely a three man job. They also buy some Teleport TMs at the Department store.

Steven’s fifteen-minute segment airs at some point mid-month. Two days later, the three of them strike.

Everyone has a job. Tyler’s is to incapacitate Kurt. He makes liberal use of his Hypno Teller’s psychic abilities to put Kurt to sleep, divest the old man of his Pokeballs and handle items without leaving marks or disturbing any dust marks that exist--as well as to stash Kurt at the bottom of the slowpoke well at the end of their heist. But more about that later.

Steve P’s job, as primary muscle, is to distract the fuck out of Maizie. Although he initially won’t deign to physically fight a girl, once she blacks his eye playing nice is off the table. And once she makes it clear that she’s not going to let her grandpa go without a fight, Steve P has his Grumpig, Slinky, hit her full-on with a Confuse Ray to make her stop and a Belch to knock her out, so Steve P can tie her up as well without any issues. She’s going to be locked into the back room of Kurt’s workshop. (When she’s found later, for some reason she has a black eye.)

Meanwhile during all this, Steven D is using his Klefki, Skeleton, to circumvent all the locks and take anything that can be safely lifted--mostly in the form of cash there, but since there’s likely to be a lack of that it’s mostly snooping to see if there’s anything else worth taking that can be easily fenced for a high value. Steven D is also the one who makes the executive decision to put Kurt somewhere where he won’t be easily found, to send a message that Team Rocket isn’t to be trifled with.

Neither Steven D nor Tyler is actually very pleased with this--the general order to ‘deal with the old man’ comes from higher up, so it’s not exactly something they can leave out of the general plan. Steven D suggests leaving Kurt down the well with a Team Rocket sweater on him ostensibly as further humiliation but really to keep the old man warm, as a callback to the major event, and passes the task off to Tyler so Steven D himself can keep an eye on Steve P--he trusts Tyler’s discretion to handle the old man, after all. That’s his job here.

Tyler, however, makes something of an other plan. Sure, he leaves Kurt tied up at the bottom of the well--but in a location where he’ll be easily spotted or heard from whoever might come down the well later. And to guarantee that, he makes sure to get Teller to telepathically ping as many people as he can in the surrounding houses so someone will spot Tyler in full Rocket get-up “climbing out of the well”, which should hopefully prompt someone to search it. It’s not like most people would be able to tell the difference between a fake distress call from a Hypno and a real one from a Slowpoke. He also leaves Kurt’s Pokeballs dropped randomly around the entrance to the well.

The three of them multi-stage teleport away to a predetermined location in Ilex Forest, change out of their Rocket Uniforms as much as possible (as a note: Steven and Tyler were wearing their gas masks for full facial coverage), and fly most of the way back to Goldenrod. They’ll break for a late supper at Steven and Jack’s house and to catch up with any news reports surrounding their attack on Kurt, then report to the admins with whatever they managed to bring back from Kurt’s house, as well as photographic proof (in polaroid form) of Kurt gussied up at the bottom of the Slowpoke Well with a slowpoke tail stuck into his mouth, having been stuffed in that Team Rocket sweater for added humiliation and warmth.

Steven D in particular will be very interested to see how EV News treats their attack, especially since he timed the heist and edited the broadcasted segment in order to frame the crime in a particular way to the general public, so they’d assume that Team Rocket, having been reminded of their failure by the broadcasted new segment in general and by Kurt’s and Maizie’s inflammatory statements in particular, had sent their team after Kurt as a barely-planned crime of passion and not as a fully prepared for heist, weeks in the making.

(There is no real reason for him to attempt to manipulate public opinion, of course. He’d just be doing it for the sheer enjoyment of making people assume what he wants them to assume, because Steven Durante is one of nature’s spin doctors.)

[amaure]

CHARACTER NAME HERE Solus zos Galvus (Emet-Selch)

CURRENT RANK: Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: As of right now, Solus is primarily interested in raising his reputation and rank within the organization.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Since Solus has taken the position for tech maintenance, he has been hard at work improving all the technology that he can get his hands on. Not merely maintenance, but actually enhancing and modifying aspects of it. Whether that be some of Team Rocket's mechas, 'gears, or whatever myriad devices they use to aid in the field grunts' work/heists.

Some of that would include speeding up the processing power of the grunts' 'gears, sophisticating the technology behind the mechas to make them far more operational to even the most single brain celled grunt, or even just redoing schematics/coding entirely to improve the efficiency of the Team Rocket's lab equipment (computers, other various devices, etc). Honestly, he kind of finds the technology here a little appalling, but it's fine, it's cool. He's not being a dick about these improvements, honest (maybe he is a little bit).

Regardless, while he's been fast at work, he also has been teaching himself about this world's technology, and where exactly it's at in its advancement (generous as it is to call it that). As such, on the side, he's been working on his own little project, staying often times well over his allotted hours to do so. However, all that has paid off because he's been able to develop light weight drones of different sizes, powered by Rotom. These drones can be utilized for various purposes, whether surveillance, delivery of supplies, or even deploying nets and other means of capturing Pokémon (or detaining people, really, I ain't your dad, go wild). With a Rotom behind the wheel, they are more or less voice controlled no different than one might a Pokémon, 100% hands-free!

This leaves the grunt to be able to handle other aspects of the job that might otherwise force them to split their attention, thus improving work efficiency. Fortunately, Solus has also recently secured himself a source of captive bred Rotom, which is far more easy to work with than those wily wild caught ones! For now, the implementation of these drones will be slow going, as the Rotom need to be hatched and trained, but so too do the drones themselves need to be mass produced.

As if this wasn't enough already, Solus has also been doing his part in bringing forth misbegotten goods and Pokémon. Throughout the last month or so, he has been taking to Goldenrod and Ecruteak at night, using his duo of Yamask to possess various trainers, businessmen/women, or people of notable wealth under the cover of night and when such people prove to be by their lonesome. Using the Yamask to control their victims, he brings them to low traffic, shadier areas of the cities, where they won't be seen. Never showing himself to the possessed victim in the off chance they might remember anything from their possession.

It's then that they are made to drop all of their Pokémon and valuables, before the Yamask promptly walks them out to somewhere remote outside of the city. Relinquishing control, and abandoning them without much of a trace (great thing that ghost Pokémon can turn invisible, huh!). Solus himself will actually be dressed in dark robes to assist in keeping himself difficult to detect in the nearby alleyways or other places he'll be observing his Pokémon from, wearing his mask in the event someone comes across him. For those who might catch a glimpse of these happenings, it may very well look like two Yamask just mugging people!

All goods and Pokémon are handed over, save for one Cofagrigus that Solus chooses not to mention. Solus has been a busy dude, to say the least of it. Maybe that's why he's so bitchy.

go big or go home fuckos

[asmywitness]

Tyler Huang and Solus zos Galvus

CURRENT RANK: Tyler is a Private; Solus is a Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Tyler's not fussed, some cash and maybe a rarer item or two that they happen to steal? Solus is hoping for a rank-up as well as the above.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Tyler and Solus are going full Big Dick Energy on this - they're gonna rob the Goldenrod City Bank in broad daylight. Because fuck yeah.

More specifically.

On the day of, Tyler and Solus will be in their generic Rocket uniforms, complete with domino masks, and walking directly into the bank, with Tyler's Hypno their only visible companion - because Solus's two Yamask, his Cofagrigus, and Tyler's Dusknoir are invisible as they float overhead. They're banking on two major things here: that Rockets are a common enough presence in Goldenrod that the mere act of them walking calmly into a bank to use the place like a regular citizen won't prompt any Trainers to attack them; and that the three Rotom (two from Solus, one Tyler) they've brought along are able to quietly possess and either disable or outright destroy the security cameras in the bank lobby, without drawing attention to them, before the two Rockets actually walk inside.

If necessary, Solus will be doing the talking, posturing and trying to convince any aggressive onlookers that they're literally just here to do a legitimate business transaction, they have items in storage that need retrieving - and Teller, who is well-trained in the art of telepathy with Tyler, will be subtly hypnotising one of the clerks on Tyler's command, and forcing them to act like they're expecting the two Rockets, and making them open the door to the private area of the bank to escort them to the safety deposit boxes. If any guards try and stop the clerk, Solus's Yamask will place their masks on their faces to possess them and turn them into accomplices.

The Rockets will be more ruthless once they get inside the private area of the bank - the clerk will be forced to lead them directly to the bank's private safety deposit boxes/vault, and any members of security who try to stop them at this point will get attacked from the shadows by the Dusknoir or Solus's Cofagrigus, which will both use Scary Face, Mean Look and Night Shade to terrify people into submission, or Shadow Sneak and Shadow Ball respectively to straight up knock them out. If anyone manages to get close enough to actually try and grab the Rockets, both of them are willing to just throw punches and slam them into walls to get the job done. And of course, anyone who interferes gets robbed blind of all their Pokemon.

Once they're inside the safety deposit box, they're going to have to make a choice.

If everything has been smooth and streamlined according to plan so far, then they'll get the clerk and guards they've kidnapped to unlock as many vaults as they can, with Tyler's Rotom assisting with any electric locks required to speed the process along. On the other hand, if everything's gone to shit, they won't waste time - Tyler's pulling out his Forretress, throwing it into the vault and telling it to use Explosion, and getting Teller to use Reflect against the door to diminish the shockwave that comes out. Regardless of the method, the Rockets will re-enter the vault area once everything has been opened and loot everything they can fit into the duffelbags they've been carrying.

As for their exit? They'll be teleporting out, after they retrieve all of their Pokemon, into the Rocket HQ. If there's time, Tyler will also be hypnotising the guards and clerk escorting them, and using that and Dream Eater to make them all genuinely believe that they did this of their own free will as Rocket Sleeper Agents™. Because that's totally a real thing.

And then they'll present their illest-gotten goods to their bosses immediately after.

(If at any point the plan gets completely derailed, they'll both teleport out as fast as they can. Sorry bosses.)

OPERATION 'I'M ON A BOAT' IS GO

[insidescoop]

CARLY NAGISA & CONNIE MAHESWARAN

CURRENT RANK: Private, Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Carly is aiming for a promotion to Beta- something she's been working on for a while with little 'freebie' things (coughSaving your Bacon with Fuzzlescough).
Connie is also after a promotion! And to be fair, she's been a grunt for a while.

Both of them would ~love~ a shiny, but ICly this would be framed as them having ahead of time requested to each be able to keep one of the pokemon they steal from the heist; that they wound up shiny is entirely chance you know! (NOTE: If only one can have a shiny, give it to Connie, she deserves it)

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Sometime ago, when performing a 'recovery' mission for the 'glory of team rocket', Carly promised that she and her cohort Connie would be bringing something big back to the gang sometime in the future.

That time is now. And of course, the plan is presented to the Admins for approval before it begins.

After first legally procuring S.S. Anne tickets for themselves and their girlfriends, the girls are all going on a cruise from Vermillion to Olivine- disembarking on July 23rd- and for the most part the cruise proceeds as normal. Of course, before the cruise begins everyone has been warned by cruise staff that the trip will be about a week shorter due to agreements with transport vessels for other channels, but that just makes things easier. Thus, vacation time begins.

And also Work time.

Assuming there's some kind of team-check security involved, Carly and Connie have a little plan set up with their water-based pokemon (Feebah the Milotic for Carly, and Jormungandr the Dragapult for Connie)- each one will be discretely tailing the ship with certain clutches of pokeballs in their possession, waiting until the last stop the boat makes before its final destination. At this point, they'll be transferred up to one of the pair's windows while under the cover of Arsene the Zoroark's illusions- Arsene of course being one of the 'held item balls', and the first one let out under cover of night.

The water pokemon have orders to lie in wait and continue tailing form there.

Not long after the transfer is made, and during the larger events occuring after the ship has disembarked from one of its cruise pit-stops once more, Team Rocket makes their move.

As the lights...go out. Power is cut via Kushi the Joltik, preventing communications and lights both. In a stunning display of disorientation moves and flashy pokemon pyrotechnics, the girls swith places with two pokemon- Arsene and Red Buster the Aegislash. Arsene coats both in an illusion, causing both to look like their trainers in the crowd. As such, while the crowd is in panic, Carly and Connie now have an alibi- especially with their girlfriends right there.

The real ones however soon rise up in the smoke as the heist properly begins, throwing their voices for full effect. PREPARE FOR TROUBLE! (AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!- note that Carly for this part has her hair pulled up enough to appear to be a bob, and is wearing steely blue contact lenses. She also has makeup-freckles.)

And for that matter, hand over the pokemon! Over the last number of days, Carly and Connie have both been discretely making marks from the ship's passengers, picking out targets that would be great for team rocket without creating the kind of backlash situation dear Fuzzles did- whether by force or otherwise, the two make use of their Rocket specific teams (Mimikyu, Joltik, and Salazzle in Carly's case- all three somehow disguised! And in Connie's case Adler, DA SHAREZONE, and Black Bart), snatching pokemon, and even valuables via levitation, magnetization, and finally storage through that Dusknoir of Connie's. Yum. They also would have taken note of any targets the Admins themselves requested.

No doubt there's security on board of course, but with their focus on disorientation and their use of level 100s, it's going to be rough going for the 'good guys'...

Especially when it's time for the escape. Both being familiar with when it's time to call it a heist, the pair make use of two pokemon to swap places with Arsene and Red Buster again- namely Alder, whose speed combined with the illusions in the middle of the confusing dark seals the deal. The pokemon- now disguised instead as the rockets while Carly and Connie successfully steal away somewhere to change into Real and not Illusion clothes again- set off with their haul by the power of a Golurk painted to resemble a Drifblim- soaring away only to disappear...

Thanks, Phantom Force.

With the heist 'completed', there's still of course the pay-off and take-away. After disappearing into wherever ghosts go when using Phantom Force, Kyosuke the Golurk re-appears at a predetermined rocky location where the water pokemon are now waiting. Arsene of course, pulls over a stronger illusion of simply being a few wild pokemon. Any pokemon not in a ball is encouraged into a sleep or paralysis state- but preferably, most pokemon have been taken in balls. They remain hidden there, carefully kept incapacitated until the final phase of the heist.

Delivery. While Carly and Connie no doubt have to deal with things like being 'calmed down' and consoled by cruise staff while waiting to dock at the end of the trip (notably, both girls brought 'disposable' pokemon from the PC as their 'official teams'- these pokemon would have been 'stolen' to further their alibi, but they were actually pokemon originally caught to take in to Team Rocket anyway), the 'escape' pokemon begin to slowly ferry each of the stolen pokemon to Cianwood's coasts, tucking them away and from there continuing to keep watch, keep quiet, and vigilantly keep things under control. Eventually when Carly and Connie have escaped the woes of playing victim on a cruise, one or the other will pull on a disguise, teleport over to Cianwood, and recover all of the pilfered pokemon- from there setting up a rendevous point with the other of the pair, and more importantly Team Rocket's own crew to acquire the spoils of victory.

All in a wonderful (many) nights work! At this rate they need another cruise.

IMPULSE HEIST WRITE-UP slightly recycling tactics but ssshhhh

[fingersandteeth]

Steven Durante and Osomatsu Matsuno

CURRENT RANK: Steven is a Private. Osomatsu is a Grunt.

REQUESTED REWARD: Steven has no particular reward in mind, although cash is always nice and he kind of wants a shiny Pokemon someday. Oso’s also good with just getting cash! It’s his first heist. He doesn’t know what he wants. Honestly Steven wants admin goodwill most of all. He’s very much still interested in getting that promotion to Beta, although he’s not going to ask about it until after he does his big mine heist at the end of August.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: So! After that little fuck-up with Sento walking in on his little mugging speedrun, Steven kind of feels like he ought to do something else for the Team, so he doesn’t end up in the admins’ bad books again, like what happened after we stole Fuzzles and had to return him a week later after the baseball heist.

(We still miss you, Fuzzles!)

Anyway. It occurs to Steven that if he got the new guy Osomatsu’s help, he could totally recycle the tactics that he and Jack used at Resort Gorgeous back in May on the hotel in Ecruteak that he and Jack stayed in when they were on the road to the Sevii Islands. Sure the overall loot quality might not be as good as it was at Resort Gorgeous, but on the other hand, there’ll be a lot more rooms to hit. Plus, it would be a good excuse for Osomatsu to pick up the warp for Ecruteak the better to visit Lydia’s establishment in the future. A little preliminary research and scouting things out is totally enough to figure out when the cleaners do their rounds and for Steven to steal the needed cleaning staff uniforms from the hotel laundry.

They wait until Osomatsu’s Abra, Thinkina, is hatched because Teleporting is very much a part of this plan. Then they’ll take a Saturday to fly up to Ecruteak on Steven’s Golurk, Iron Giant. It’s a long trip, so once they stop at the Pokecenter, they’ll head back to their ‘home base’ for this heist.

Now the ‘home base’ is going to be one of two places depending on if they can get Lydia’s permission to just crash at her place. If they can, well, they’ll be crashing on her couch/floor/whatever. If they don’t, they’ll erect a tent in the wilderness and camp for the night. Poor Osomatsu gets to hear Steven muttering to himself about having to sleep on the ground is the worst thing ever. He’s too old for this. In any case, their base will be where they teleport out from the next day when it’s time to do the mission. (If it’s a tent out in the wilderness, they’ll be leaving Steven’s Bewear, Care Bear, back to guard the tent.)

BUT FIRST time to get in disguise. Not only the cleaner’s uniforms, of course, but also make-up, wigs, and false (facial) hair too. Oh and padding. Definitely padding. The point of this is to not be identified as themselves by any security cameras or people accidentally walking in on some ‘cleaners.’

Anyway. Thus disguised, Steven uses his Xatu, Acatl, to chain teleport him up to the roof of the hotel in Ecruteak, having had Acatl feed Thinkina the coordinates via telepathy beforehand so she can follow right after. Like he did with Jack before, Steven and Osomatsu then proceed to use their cleaner disguise to sneak into various hotel rooms right after the real cleaners do their rounds, generally waiting until the real cleaners have finished with a floor to start breaking into those rooms.

Using Skeleton, Steven’s Klefki, to circumvent any mechanical locks and his newly caught Rotom (which he’ll probably be naming Ghost In The Machine) to open any electronic locks, they’ll then let themselves into the rooms while their inhabitants are out and quickly open the room safes, removing all valuables and leaving little business cards with the Team Rocket logo behind. The goal is to be able to hit as many rooms in the hotel as they can without anyone noticing what they’re doing. If they can do the entire hotel's worth of rooms, great! If they can’t, they’ll make a run for the nearest balcony/roof when they do get caught and then chain teleport their way back to their home base.

In any case, this is definitely the time for them to quick change back to their normal clothes and remove the make-up etc, disguise their loot as luggage, then back onto Iron Giant to fly them to the pokecenter (which should take less than twenty minutes) and use the warp to get back to Goldenrod, where they’ll present their loot to the admins!

(Who will see what a good senior Steven is to his juniors on the Team, helping teach them the ways of crime and giving them real heist experience! Don’t they want to make him a Beta someday?)

P.S. Star is fine if we want to use Lydia's place for a home base, so we will. ACTUALLY we'll probably have to do this in the field. Lydia's likely going to still be pissed about Tyler.

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Spinel and Steven

CURRENT RANK: Steven is a Private, Spinel is a Grunt.

REQUESTED REWARD: Spinel wants her first shiny. Steven wants the admins to know that he's happy mentoring grunts, but wouldn't mind TMs, battle items, or cash money.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: So there's a dog show in Goldenrod! And said dog show features shiny dog Pokemon that breedings have bred.

Spinel's found out that shinies are incredibly rare, kind of wants one for herself, but also what a great thing to turn into the Rocket leaders, right? So she meets up with Steven, asks for his help to guide her through her first heist.

First thing they do is Spinel's Zoroark and Steven's Zorua disguise themselves as Steven and Spinel, and take their place in the audience. Meanwhile, Steven and Spinel disguise themselves as perfectly normal dog show audience members to avoid detection. They corner the judge, knock him out and tie him up in a closet somewhere and the two of them with Steven's makeup abilities and stolen clothing, makes Spinel look like the judge.

So the judging begins, Spinel takes her role very seriously while scoping out the shiny Pokemon she's going to grab. She asks each contestant to put their shiny dog back in their Pokeball after each judging.

Towards the end, she signals to Steven to use his Gengar's Night Shade as a distraction, and then use his Rotom to mess with the security camera footage. Steven will then gas the whole room. Steven switches places with Zoroak-Steven, and Spinel and her Zoroak collect the Pokeballs with shiny Pokemon inside. They don't take any money or any other Pokemon, just the shiny ones. She and Zoroark book it, while Steven and Zorua-Spinel stay behind to act as victims in this horrible Team Rocket crime.

Spinel and Steven meet back up to take the shiny dogs to the Rocket leaders.

[uber_marionettist]

Dirk Strider + Emet-Selch (or w/e)

CURRENT RANK: Beta + Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Dirk is looking to keep one of the breeding Mudsdale, preferably one with egg moves and/or a shiny.... he's really not a fan of Mudbray AND he's a busy guy, so his motive here is not having to raise a baby donkey up. Emet wants to be a private, but he'd also like a cash bonus. (He has his entire cast living out of his house, poor fucker.)

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: (This heist will occur on August 18th or so.) Dirk has been to Moomoo Farms before, he knows it well. He loves the place. He loves their horses Mudsdale and Rapidash. Dirk's plan begins using Peaches to impersonate one of the wayward Milcery to ensure she gets locked into the barn at night with any of their expensive livestock. It will be her job to address any barn-opening tasks that need to be done from the inside (and let's be real: any security system that can actually trap a creature with thumbs inside at night is probably less than great), though Dirk will be leaving the electronic nighttime security to Emet and his Rotom. Peaches' position as the inside 'mon will also allow them to move when the Pokemon inside are definitely asleep. (Which is also helpful because they'll be much easier to catch.) Their goal isn't to catch a TON of Pokemon, though; Dirk and Emet are aiming for quality over quantity, attempting to nab a few prizewinners and broodmares/stallions over untrained babies they could just buy anyway (although they'll gladly scoop up any unhatched eggs available.)

The whole thing shouldn't take more than minutes, and Dirk will make sure they don't clean the farm out or leave them with no breeding stock--after all, he really does like this place. He and Emet will even lock the door after themselves.... you know, to keep out the less scrupulous thieves.

[uber_marionettist]

Dirk Strider, Emet-Selch.... and Hythlodaeus, who isn't actually a member of Team Rocket.

CURRENT RANK: Beta and Private (and an Accomplice.)

REQUESTED REWARD: Reusable TMs or something for Dirk, Emet wants... similar, or a Pokemon, or money, it's whatever apparently. Can't crime just be its own reward?

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: This crime spree begins a day after the heist at Moomoo Farms, but they all hop over to Kanto, and begin their work there. The trio are exclusively hitting luxury townhomes or mansions and robbing them mostly of generic valuables. Emet's Rotoms and Yamask do their usual work to help circumvent security systems, and Dirk himself has no qualms about parkouring or rapelling up or around or down anywhere he might need to go. The unusual part is what happens in each residence when the owners come home...

Maybe its triggered when the front door is opened, or a tripwire is snagged, or a light is turned on, or the fridge door is opened. But each and every house is rigged with a Rube Goldberg Machine designed to sow chaos and indignity and reap property damage, Home Alone style.... but far, far more elaborately. Chandeliers are dropped, windows exploded, marbles cascaded, wooden bars swung into midriffs, paint poured, eggs (the food kind, don't worry) dropped on heads, and refrigerators flung across the room. Some of these disaster chains are so lengthy and absurd that they take actual minutes to be fully executed, minutes which the victims no doubt spend paralysed with mounting horror, or else trying desperately to intervene.

The first couple of days feature a good three or four of these heists in Saffron City, but as security mounts, they move to Fucshia, and then to Ecruteak, then Vermilion, and then Olivine, and then Celadon. They stop only when security is so heightened everywhere that it becomes too onerous to break in (and the time that Hythlodaeus and Dirk would spend making their contraptions is too expensive, riskwise.) The Yamasks and so on really cover their escape, but Dirk's Porygon2 has Teleport.... and. So on.

The entire point of these heists, fun and profit aside, is to ensure Team Rocket doesn't go idle just because "all" the transplants have travelled abroad. That would be far too suspicious.

To ensure that it's known who's behind this, Dirk has designed some purposefully tacky "business cards" for Team Rocket to leave behind. For some reason he's chosen to leave them underneath a bedroom pillow every time?

MINE HEIST MINE HEIST

[fingersandteeth]

Steven Durante + Carly, Connie, Steve Palchuk, Lydia, Tyler, Spinel, Emet, London, Diego, Osomatsu, Jules, Speedwagon and Doppio (with various support from Dirk and Jack) i.e. BASICALLY EVERYBODY

CURRENT RANK: Spinel, London, Diego, Osomatsu, Jules, Speedwagon and Doppio are all Grunts.

Connie, Steve P, Lydia, Tyler and Emet are all Privates.

Steven and Carly (and Dirk who didn’t come in person but supplied important pokemon/equipment for the heist) are Betas.

(And Jack, who kept guard over the safe house/made pizza while the others were actively thieving, is our resident Alpha.)

REQUESTED REWARD: While Steven’s going to let everyone who’s here for the heist take a single stone from their pile of loot before turning it in as his own award to them for participating, he is definitely encouraging them to make their reward requests to the admins too, once they bring back their haul--especially if they’ve managed to bring back a large one.

A few of the heist participants have special requests, however. In particular, Lydia, Spinel, and Osomatsu all want shinies. While Spinel got her first recently and might not qualify for another this soon, neither Lydia or Osomatsu have one yet. Lydia’s could be one she catches in the cave as opposed to one that the admins award her, if her somewhat contentious relationship with them makes it less likely that they’ll give it to her. And as far as Osomatsu goes, he already got a big wad of cash and he doesn’t think they’ll let him rank up yet, so shiny it is. Meanwhile, Emet-Selch is definitely interested in cash money but also in multi-use TMs that would aid him and his all-rotom team in the gym challenges, because someone (aka Dirk) is making his boyfriend go after badges. Finally, Steve P wants a multi-use TM since those are nice and useful.

Otherwise, everyone else is good with the fat stacks of cash money, plus whatever goodies Team Rocket would see fit to hand out to them.

(Oh! And presumably latecomer Doppio wants cred with the admins with an eye to ranking up in the future.)

Steven, while he would appreciate that fat cash bonus, is mostly asking for… well, for recognition for their crew of otherworlders by Team Rocket for their competency and consistency together. Under Handsome Jack’s watchful eye and through Steven’s own efforts at mentorship with the most recent recruits, the otherworld Rockets have brought in haul after haul of valuable loot for the Team these last six months, with very few missteps in the process. And that ought to be acknowledged by the admins. He knows their kind has a reputation for being difficult and having learned about some of their predecessors he understands why, but he truly believes that this group is different.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: So. Way back in May, when the Admins had declined Steven’s first request for promotion to Beta, he decided that at some point he’d take the entire team (or nearly) of otherworlder transfers on a large scale heist, like Dirk had done with them for the Pewter Museum and the Lapras Heist and then he’d ask again for his promotion. After deciding on the evolution stone mine in Blackthorn made a damn good target, he then spent time researching it and finding out its defenses and hours of operation while otherwise in town to challenge Clair. Then, of course, he got promoted anyway in early August, but by that point Steven was already set on taking everyone on the heist. After all, it could make for a good team bonding experience.

The heist itself is set to take place roughly a week after the return from Sinnoh, plus maybe a few more days, which should allow enough time for everyone to get to Blackthorn, even if some of them might have to get a lift from someone who can Fly. It should also be just before the mine is set to send out a large shipment of evolution stones to its distributors, so their storeroom is full of precious loot. We’ll be operating out of Handsome Jack’s ski chalet as our home base/safehouse--and in fact, staying and keeping watch over that safehouse while the others more actively heist is exactly what Jack will be doing during the course of this mine heist. That he can do it while also watching television and heating up a shitton of post-heist pizza is merely coincidental. Jack is also in charge of lying to the Jennies if, god forbid, they attempt to visit the safehouse.

Everyone who’s going to the mine has been given escape ropes, plus gas masks and infrared goggles if they want them. They also all have at least one teleporting pokemon with them. Either they already had a teleporter to start with, one of their pokemon has been taught the move via TM, they’d been given a young Abra or Natu who’d been born knowing the move, or they’re just borrowing a teleporter from another Rocket who has more than one (which some do.) This is, of course, because they’ll be teleporting from Jack’s ski chalet to the mine entrance, some few hours after sunset--at which point all the miners will be gone for the day, leaving only the mine security and the pokemon who’re helping them guard it.

That’s when the rockets split into two groups. The first group, the Distraction Team, is comprised of Carly, Connie, Lydia, Steve Palchuk, Emet-Selch, Emet’s rotom-powered drones that scream down the boulevard and Pulse Train, Dirk’s Level 100 Klinklang. Their job is to distract the mine security and the pokemon inhabiting/guarding the mine… which of course they’re going to mostly be doing through combat. Except for Emet-Selch (and Pulse Train, naturally), the trainers in this group have been members of Team Rocket since March or earlier and have high-level pokemon. As for Emet-Selch, well, he’s got all his rotom-powered drones, plus some Yamask who can possess security guards and make them go after their compatriots, so he’ll be fine. Pulse Train, meanwhile, is zipping around and independently fighting on his own, Steven having given him very general instructions before they went in. Beyond that, the Distraction Team will be fighting dirty as hell. Multiple pokemon out at once, attacking the security guards instead of the Pokemon first, using status moves against humans, physically attacking using fists and improvised weapons… if it’s a nasty trick, they’ll use it. The goal is to neutralize the mine security in whatever way possible. If they’re lucky enough to render guards unconscious, they’ll then steal their pokemon, recalling them into the balls. They’ll also likely try to catch what pokemon inhabitants of the mine they can.

The other group is the Thievery Team: Spinel, London, Diego, Osomatsu, Jules, Speedwagon, and Doppio. Except for Spinel, they’ve all joined Team Rocket more recently than the Distraction Team and their own pokemon teams are on the whole less strong that the other group’s, which is why while the Distraction Team is occupying mine security, the Thievery Team is stealing all the evolution stones and otherwise precious items that they can get their hands on. Steven himself is with the Thievery Team, using his Klefki and his own Rotom to subvert all the locks, physical and electric, that might stand in their way. They’ll be hitting up the storeroom where the miners keep the stones they mine before they’re shipped out, as well as the mine office in hopes of grabbing any loose cash or anything in the office safe. Steven’s Rotom will also mess with any electronic security records that might be around, because Ghost in the Machine is a good, helpful little spoop.

Meanwhile, during all this, Tyler is outside playing lookout, because the inside of a dark mine is no place for a deaf guy. Using Dirk’s TriCal Threat (which Dirk obligingly lent alongside Pulse Train) allows him 360-degree long-range vision in order to spot any Jennies/vigilantes/PGC members long before they make it to the mine and he also looks cool while doing it, given that the Kamina shades are part of the rig. Meanwhile, his Houndoom Dexter is busy burning a giant R made out of flames in front of the mine, because normal calling cards aren’t nearly as badass. If Tyler spots anyone coming to interfere before they’re done, he’ll use his psychic pokemon to broadcast the signal to retreat--at which point both teams will stop what they’re doing, use their escape ropes to bring them back to the mine entrance, and teleport the fuck away back to Jack’s ski chalet.

If there’s no interference, then the Thievery Team books it as soon as they’ve secured everything of value that hasn’t been nailed down, alerting the Distraction Team as they leave, so that they too can book it out to the mine entrance and everyone can teleport the fuck away back to Jack’s ski chalet, where inside Jack is waiting for them alongside a shitton of pizza for everyone to eat while they catch their breath and tally up the loot. Time to change out of uniforms, take turns washing up, and in general rest. Which may or may not involve sleeping on couches/on air mattresses or doubling up in beds, since while the ski chalet has multiple guest rooms it’s also not as big as Jack’s actual house. Though Steven and Jack will be taking their own bed, thank you very much. (Please ignore any noise you might hear coming from their bedroom. Steven might not be loud but Jack is and post-crime sex is the best sex. If anyone didn’t know they were together before, they probably do now.)

Anyway, the next day they will pack up said loot disguised as luggage and warp their way back to Goldenrod, to present the admins with the contents of their haul, both bags of stones and whatever pokemon they can catch/steal in the process. But before all that, as mentioned in the rewards, everyone on the heist gets to pick out one of the evolution stones from the haul to keep before turning the rest in, unless the haul is so pathetic that this would make a notable dent--which shouldn’t be the case given that, as mentioned above, they staged the heist shortly before the stones were due to be shipped out. Jack gets one too, since he provided support in the form of pizzas and safe house, and either Connie, Carly, or Emet gets to grab one for Dirk, as thanks for his own provided support in the form of Pulse Train and the Tri-Cal Threat.

And as long as everything goes as planned, this should give the admins a real taste of what the otherworld transfers can do when they work together.

lets fuck shit up

[asmywitness]

Tyler Huang, SOLO STYLE

CURRENT RANK: Private

REQUESTED REWARD: A reusable TM? Something for Ghosts or Psychics preferable. Or just cash is fine, he's not really trying very hard for a reward here.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Honestly Tyler's just here to cause a ruckus.

He's going to be doing some deep fucking research into Solf J. Kimbley's personal missions in the past, having heard of the ex-Rocket's ex-plosive ex-ploits, and decided that maybe a little mimicry might put the fear of Arceus Team Rocket in people, just a little bit more.

He's doing this plainclothes (even if it's still a casual black jeans and shirt outfit) and in the evening when the night scene is pumping, so the higher security presence he's noticed on prior missions doesn't ping him as suspicious when he very casually saunters down a dark alley in Olivine City and--

--makes his Forretress and Solrock explode.

They're in two separate places, of course, and he's being as careful about it as he can in plainclothes: his Hypno is out the whole time, using his psychic abilities to make sure people don't especially notice Tyler, until he can successfully find an empty alleyway, and pull his Forretress out to use Self-Destruct. As soon as his Forretress explodes, preferably in an alleyway behind a line of restaurants (after putting on a gas mask, and protecting himself using his Hypno's Reflect), he's recalling it to its Pokeball and teleporting with his Hypno to the other side of town, behind the dock's cargo holds, and explode an ocean-facing wall, and hopefully a cargo container or two. After he recalls his Solrock, he'll be teleporting to Ecruteak City, directly into his girlfriend's back yard, and having a shower.

After both Pokemon explode, in the moment before he leaves, Tyler will make sure to throw down a Team Rocket business card. Theoretically the two detonations and his escape would all occur in less than five minutes, but he's willing to spend multiple hours in Olivine relaxing and being totally relaxed and fine and not suspicious at all (which he is good at) until the opportune moment presents itself. Of note is that he's deliberately avoiding going near the Gym at any point, so he doesn't fuck up Steve P.'s later mission by proxy.

[uber_marionettist]

Dirk Strider (and Carly, and Connie, and Steve, and Jack, and Steven...)

CURRENT RANK: Private (Carly and Dirk), Grunt (Steve, Steven, and Connie), Alpha (Jack)

REQUESTED REWARD: Dirk micromanaged this heist down to the fucking second, but all he really cares about is rank and the satisfaction of controlling a bunch of shit to achieve an outcome. Steven wants a promotion from Grunt to Private. Connie, Steve, Carly all want to keep fossils and/or acquire shinies (Carly REALLY likes shiny Pokemon!) (If Steven can’t nab a promotion, he’ll go for the same thing as the others.) Jack is keeping a fossil, but also I'm amazed he even came and then Dirk sidelined him on purpose because he has a control complex.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: Late one February night, the current contingent of Rockets is hitting the Pewter Museum of Natural History. Carly and Dirk have traded Pokemon temporarily--she has his Smeargle (who knows Transform) and he has her Salazzle (who knows how to be a living blowtorch.) Jack and Carly are on perimetre duty--to start with, Dirk's Smeargle is doubling the effectiveness of Carly's Joltik to short out power to the building, and Carly has been further entrusted with his TriCal Threat (working title, he's also considering the BroPro) to keep a 360 degree lookout for the cops. Dirk, taking Carly's Salazzle and his own Greninja (along with Steven) is doing the breaking and entering. Connie and Steve are team B, following about ten or fifteen minutes after. Partially so that Dirk and Steven can clear the way (rather than using Pokemon against any security, which could be identifying or lead to an actual battle that would eat time and be too much of a liability, Dirk is taking them out physically, aka blunt force trauma by fancy santa... while Steven is going to have to learn to choke a man out on the fly) and partially so that no one gets the drop on Steven and Dirk from behind them. (He's matched Connie and Steve because Steve has powerful Pokemon and battle experience and Connie is quick on her feet, both physically and mentally.)

They're not going for the exhibits, though. That would be WAY too risky. Instead, they're going to museum storage.... Dirk's robbed a museum before (Homestuck just happens) and knows there's drawers and drawers of temperature controlled specimens locked away from the public eye. If he can't get the door open using Greninja or Salazzle, he has a fucking Machoke that he WILL evolve on the spot by trading it to Steven. Once they're in, the four of them will be literally filling bags with the most intact fossils they can get their gloves hands on and then getting the FUCK out of there.

If need be I can get REALLY detailed about how everyone's Pokemon and skills are going to be useful here but I'm trying not to write a short story and if I get MORE specific it'll be literally a blow by blow of the minutes as they occur and that's fucking nonsense. So a rewrite may be required? But Dirk basically improvised his way through Unite, Synchronise at the age of 15, he can probably get four people in and out of a mostly empty museum. Or maybe the whole thing is a fucking trap, maybe Team Rocket's been here before and this is about to be hilarious.

Jack and Carly are literally responsible for securing the perimetre and, if necessary, slowing down the Jennies. They both have well-coordinated, level 100 teams. Carly has 360 degree, unsettlingly blue-eyed vision with a zoom function and a miniature catapult that totally didn't come from Fred, which are armed with nets that she can electrify with her Joltik's electroweb. Jack has himself. It should be fine.<

[indigo_league]

The Rocket heist on the Pewter museum goes perfect. Well, almost perfect. There is one small hitch.

While they are inside the museum’s storage filling their bags with as many fossils as they can grab, they run into a museum employee. Strange, you wouldn’t think anyone except security would be working this late at night, but there she is. However before any Fancy Santas can be deployed (or fold-up chairs can be brought out) the employee curses, holding up her hands and she… offers them a deal?

It turns out that the museum employee (whoever this slightly messy woman in mismatched shoes might be) was also definitely not supposed to be there at that time. And she seems desperate to cover up her presence, even going as far as to offer Team Rocket a deal. She has, so she claims, recently revived new fossils! Powerful fossils! Fossils the world has never seen before. If Team Rocket promises to stay quiet about seeing her in the museum storage, she will also stay quiet about running into them and will allow them to get away freely. Pretty great deal, right?

Well. Better than bringing the Jennies there, right?

At the slightest sign of a yes (or at least not an immediate no) the woman rushes forward (This close, you can read the C. Liss name tag on her coat) and digs several slightly muddy (why are they muddy, what is going on in her pockets) poke balls out of the pockets of her lab coat, shoving them into the hands of the nearest rocket, before she takes off, nearly knocking over a table in her haste to get anywhere but here.

That was. Uh. That was weird.

Still, apart from that little hitch, all of Team Rocket manages to get in and out of the museum without being caught. By the time the EV news broadcast is reporting on the heist, they are safely back at base, handing over bags of fossils to their superiors. The muddy poke balls they received from the museum employee sure end up containing new fossil pokemon as she said but… are they supposed to look like that? Is that one’s mouth supposed to be upside down? Why is its head so small? That one can barely move?!

What are these fossils?

Well, one of the stunned superiors finally ends up say. Well, that sure is a find you guys managed to make. You, uh. You can keep those. As a reward. Yeah. Congrats on your new reward. Hey can someone give me a hand dragging these bags of fossils to the vault?


For their hard work, each of the member that participated in the heist receives one slightly muddy poke ball containing a level 10 Revived Galar Fossil Pokemon (of the player’s choice), as well as a nice monetary bonus wired to their accounts. Though, if you take into account just how many fossils they just brought in, that seems a bit paltry…

As you look at your new Galar… friend? monstrosity?? some might not be able to help but wonder… did you just get suckered?

[failgoyle]

Jules Thibault

CURRENT RANK: Grunt

REQUESTED REWARD: Possibly an Up-Grade for his Porygon? Or possibly some other interesting and useful Pokemon; he's not picky.

JUSTIFY THE REWARD: So since I had to make myself scarce from the face of the internet for a couple of months because I got slammed with hurricanes, I've been trying to figure out what Jules would have been doing with himself over about two months! And it is hacking. And tinkering. Lots of hacking and tinkering. He's caught himself a Rotom and between that and the Porygon he started out with, he's been specially training them in all sorts of methods of digital larceny. He's put a lot of time, thought, and inscrutable computer code into his latest project--inserting malware into the computer systems at the Celadon Department Store. He's found a cash register on the network that's in need of an upgrade and never gotten one (think of it as running the Pokeverse equivalent of Windows XP), and he's used this weak link to get his Porygon into the back door. The Rotom is there for backup and to create a distraction in the system should someone start probing at the data Porygon is sending to Jules. (It's hard to probe at a possible security breach if, say, the sprinklers start going off or security cameras start showing footage of shoplifting in progress...only the shoplifters were never really there.) He's intending to have Rotom and Porygon delete all traces of their presence from the system if possible.

He's not running the operation indefinitely; it took him three weeks of setup and he's shooting for two weeks of quiet data harvesting before getting out. He's mostly just trying to skim credit and debit card numbers, and if he can redirect a few electronic bill payments into a Rocket account, so much the better. While he's in Celadon letting his Pokemon do most of the quiet work, he'll also probe around at the cybersecurity of the Celadon City Pokemon Center, and if possible, he'll launch a quick ransomware attack on that. Why? Because he can, and because the ransom's a quick cash grab.

[indigo_league]

In all honesty, at this point, the rocket admins are more than willing to reward any rocket endeavour that does not involved explosions. In fact, they are trying a little scheme where proper, subtle crime-sprees get extra rewards. Something, something, positive reinforcement and all that jazz.

At least nobody is ending up in a Skinner Box.

In any case, Jules will not only be receiving the Upgrade he requested for his Porygon; in addition, he will also receive a Smoke Ball!

Hey Jules, why did the Rocket Admins give you two rewards? Because you didn't blow up anything, that's why.