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His low opinions of himself twist his confidence. This leads to a distrust in others when it comes to opinions about him. Dirk is arrogant, even during all his self-loathing. He is the smartest but since he can't fix himself, no one can. He's the failure because he is the most qualified. It's all on him. Compliments directed towards him are often dismissed. He is not reaching his own personal standards. He doesn't like what he sees in the mirrors. He thinks he knows best and what he knows is that he's the worst so everyone else is wrong when they say he's not. He knows it to his core. He distances himself from his friends when things go south. This distance only causes him to feel terrible because he is alone with himself again.
He can get caught in a cycle of unintentional self-sabotage as a result of this skewed self-image. Nothing about Dirk Strider is "half-assed." One can count on him to put a lot of thought and effort into everything. While this can be a good thing and turn him into an unstoppable force, it can also turn him into a complete disaster. His inability to let something go sends him into a downward spiral when mixed with his self-hate. He ends up sabotaging himself without knowing how to stop because he has to keep trying to perfect the flaws. He has to perfect something because no one else is capable. He keeps trying and trying without stopping to ask for help then he hates himself for it. Repeat forever.
He fears that sharing his deep respect and love would overwhelm Roxy. In actuality, it would be the other way around. It would overwhelm him to hear praise he can't argue with. He holds remorse for everything he does and everything every version of him does. He owns up to what he does and says in every universe. He isn't sure how to approach fixing problematic areas without an act of self-destruction. He almost destroys AR but can't bring himself to do it. AR states he doesn't think Dirk is capable of being happy under any normal circumstances. This is yet another factor into why his face remains stoic. He doesn't think he has anything to smile about.
He puts himself under a lot of stress. Dirk stated he does not sleep, trying to be alert at all times. He likely doesn't sleep much once he lacks a dream-self that allows a constant state of being awake. He gets distracted while trying to do everything at once and always ends up zoning out on one end to focus on the other. Despite claims and attempts to do so, he's not great at multi-tasking. But his life required him to be on guard and never learned how not to be, so he keeps at it. He more or less skipped childhood. He assumed he had to take the position of main protector for the group like he had always been for himself.
He idealizes his friends and feels he has to help them. This is the role he thinks he is best at and doesn't know what other purpose he might serve for them outside of it. He doesn't want anyone to see him fail because failure would mean a loss of purpose and thus a loss of self. The complete loss of control is the worst fear for him so he grasps at what little he can get of it to remain functional. He keeps trying even if things are completely out of his hands. Their entire game session had been out of their hands. He kept scoping out every little part of it despite knowing it was a waiting game to find something to grasp. Dirk can't back down completely lest he completely shatter to pieces.
He's getting better at picking pieces back up. At the end, we see him talking with Jake after mutually avoiding each other. This looks like conversation that involves apologizing or having a more formal official break-up. Dirk seems to be actually sharing emotions in a reasonable matter. Jake's personality and way of life is almost the polar opposite of Dirk. Jake goes with the flow and was ready for adventure at the drop of a hat. This always appealed to him and he saw Jake as a second half that could help control his insanity. It didn't at the time but he knows having him there is better than not as a balance, even if romance is off the table.
The first big step before this was with Dave, someone who isn't his idol but he thinks might be even better. He states he's glad someone gave him an objective opinion about himself. He hasn't received one before. Roxy has idolized him, Jane and Jake had been too kind and AR has only ever amplified his own opinions back at him. He gives up control to Dave and lets him take the reigns of the fight (and literally murder him in a triple head slice.) Dirk stopped being unbreakable.
But he's still a fuck up that looks at puppet porn. Jesus.
Pokémon Information Affiliation: Trainer. Starter: Rowlet Password: Atomic Fireball
Welcome to the Wonderful World of Pokemon! Congratulations, you have a fun and exciting adventure awaiting you.
Now that you've been accepted... [○] Respond to this with your character's journal. This is a must! [○] Comment in the Taken Characters post, alphabetized by series: # thru G, H thru O, or P thru Z. [○] Join the following communities: victory_road, the_plateau, and ohmyarceus. Only Team Rocket personnel should join silph_co, but we ask that all Victory Road members subscribe to it. Note! You will not be accepted to the main or logs community until you've commented in the aforementioned places. [○] If you're still on the reserved list, please let us know that they've been accepted. [○] Please make sure to check out the Calendar for the weather and upcoming plots and swarms! [○] You can also find our mod plurk at victoryroad; if you have a Plurk, we suggest you become a fan!
We'd also like to take this moment to inform you of the Eastern Kanto Ferry! For only P2000, you can take a three day, all-inclusive ferry ride from New Bark Town to Pallet Town and begin a new pokémon journey in the Kanto region! Otherwise, feel free to start in Johto!
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indigo_league) wrote2016-05-03 09:48 pm
APPLICATIONS!
dirk strider | homestuck | reapp | 2/2
He can get caught in a cycle of unintentional self-sabotage as a result of this skewed self-image. Nothing about Dirk Strider is "half-assed." One can count on him to put a lot of thought and effort into everything. While this can be a good thing and turn him into an unstoppable force, it can also turn him into a complete disaster. His inability to let something go sends him into a downward spiral when mixed with his self-hate. He ends up sabotaging himself without knowing how to stop because he has to keep trying to perfect the flaws. He has to perfect something because no one else is capable. He keeps trying and trying without stopping to ask for help then he hates himself for it. Repeat forever.
He fears that sharing his deep respect and love would overwhelm Roxy. In actuality, it would be the other way around. It would overwhelm him to hear praise he can't argue with. He holds remorse for everything he does and everything every version of him does. He owns up to what he does and says in every universe. He isn't sure how to approach fixing problematic areas without an act of self-destruction. He almost destroys AR but can't bring himself to do it. AR states he doesn't think Dirk is capable of being happy under any normal circumstances. This is yet another factor into why his face remains stoic. He doesn't think he has anything to smile about.
He puts himself under a lot of stress. Dirk stated he does not sleep, trying to be alert at all times. He likely doesn't sleep much once he lacks a dream-self that allows a constant state of being awake. He gets distracted while trying to do everything at once and always ends up zoning out on one end to focus on the other. Despite claims and attempts to do so, he's not great at multi-tasking. But his life required him to be on guard and never learned how not to be, so he keeps at it. He more or less skipped childhood. He assumed he had to take the position of main protector for the group like he had always been for himself.
He idealizes his friends and feels he has to help them. This is the role he thinks he is best at and doesn't know what other purpose he might serve for them outside of it. He doesn't want anyone to see him fail because failure would mean a loss of purpose and thus a loss of self. The complete loss of control is the worst fear for him so he grasps at what little he can get of it to remain functional. He keeps trying even if things are completely out of his hands. Their entire game session had been out of their hands. He kept scoping out every little part of it despite knowing it was a waiting game to find something to grasp. Dirk can't back down completely lest he completely shatter to pieces.
He's getting better at picking pieces back up. At the end, we see him talking with Jake after mutually avoiding each other. This looks like conversation that involves apologizing or having a more formal official break-up. Dirk seems to be actually sharing emotions in a reasonable matter. Jake's personality and way of life is almost the polar opposite of Dirk. Jake goes with the flow and was ready for adventure at the drop of a hat. This always appealed to him and he saw Jake as a second half that could help control his insanity. It didn't at the time but he knows having him there is better than not as a balance, even if romance is off the table.
The first big step before this was with Dave, someone who isn't his idol but he thinks might be even better. He states he's glad someone gave him an objective opinion about himself. He hasn't received one before. Roxy has idolized him, Jane and Jake had been too kind and AR has only ever amplified his own opinions back at him. He gives up control to Dave and lets him take the reigns of the fight (and literally murder him in a triple head slice.) Dirk stopped being unbreakable.
But he's still a fuck up that looks at puppet porn. Jesus.
Pokémon Information
Affiliation: Trainer.
Starter: Rowlet
Password: Atomic Fireball
Samples
RP Sample: Last in-game post
Victory Road Sample: A thread with Jane.
ACCEPTED
Congratulations, you have a fun and exciting adventure awaiting you.
Now that you've been accepted...
[○] Respond to this with your character's journal. This is a must!
[○] Comment in the Taken Characters post, alphabetized by series: # thru G, H thru O, or P thru Z.
[○] Join the following communities:
Note! You will not be accepted to the main or logs community until you've commented in the aforementioned places.
[○] If you're still on the reserved list, please let us know that they've been accepted.
[○] Please make sure to check out the Calendar for the weather and upcoming plots and swarms!
[○] You can also find our mod plurk at
We'd also like to take this moment to inform you of the Eastern Kanto Ferry! For only P2000, you can take a three day, all-inclusive ferry ride from New Bark Town to Pallet Town and begin a new pokémon journey in the Kanto region! Otherwise, feel free to start in Johto!
Thank you! See you in the Pokémon world!
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